29 March 2013

TMB Assures Tripe Retailers: 'We're On Track'

The Tripe Marketing Board has moved to re-assure tripe retailers across the country that its strategy for promoting tripe is 'on track'.

The move follows muted criticism on a number of internet forums used by retailers of tripe that the TMB had 'lost touch' with the trade following its move into book publishing and its use of the social media to sell tripe.

Sir Norman Wrassle, speaking at a Rotary Club lunch in Preston yesterday, said: "The tripe industry has got to move with the times.  With falling year-on-year consumption of tripe since 1948, drastic measures were called for."  He claimed that there were tentative signs that the strategy was reaping dividends.

"Our Communications department have assured me that we now have over 700 people feeding from our tweets and more than 200 people have joined our We Love Tripe! group on Facebox.  We knew that people were looking for a safe place to discuss tripe, and we have provided that place," he went on to say.

Responding to criticism that the TMB had no place in book publishing, Sir Norman was equally brusque:  "Last year, we signed up Dr Derek J Ripley to a three book deal as our resident historian.  His task is to subliminally put the case for tripe in an informative and entertaining way and he is rapidly becoming the Professor Brian Cox of the tripe world."

Sir Norman produced figures to show that Dr Ripley's latest book, The Lost Films of 20th Century Spatchcock, contained over 140 separate references to tripe - far more than any other book published so far in 2013 - and challenged his audience to point to any other food marketing board that had done the same this year.

He finished his talk with an appeal to the tripe retailers of Britain to stay calm and carry on selling tripe, saying: "I appeal to the tripe retailers of Britain to stay calm and keep carrying on selling tripe while we stimulate demand in novel and entertaining ways.  It is my pledge to you that we will look back on 2013 as the turning point for tripe!"

2 comments:

  1. Sir Norman is a true visionary and legend.

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  2. Thank you, Lee. I will draw your comments to Sir Norman's attention.

    ReplyDelete