Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has declared Friday’s visit to Carlisle “an unmitigated success."
Sir Norman was in Carlisle to appear on BBC Radio Cumbria and was accompanied by three Men In White who spent the morning trying to persuade locals to put down their pork pies and give tripe a try.
Whilst Sir Norman relaxed in The King’s Head preparing for his lunchtime appearance on The Graham Swindlehurst Show, the Men In White were busy chatting to shoppers, kissing babies and stroking dogs. Regrettably, a new member of the team had to attend Cumberland Infirmary for a rabies test after stroking a baby and attempting to kiss a dog, but he is expected to make a full recovery.
The Men In White also visited Carlisle’s number one tripe retailer, D Nattrass, in the market hall where they enticed passersby with the offer of a free pen with every £100 worth of tripe purchased. They were surprised to learn that, despite selling tripe, the proprietor had never tasted it in his life. He was persuaded to give tripe a try and is now a convert.
After a busy morning promoting tripe, the Men In White escorted Sir Norman to the BBC studios after threats that militant vegetarians would be protesting outside the building. In another victory for tripe, this never materialised.
Speaking from his hotel in London before traveling to Wimbledon this afternoon, Sir Norman said: “The day was a resounding success. We received a warm Scottish welcome from Graham Swindlehurst and the people of Carlisle. We were even fortunate with the weather. It was a typical Carlisle summer’s day and by 3 o’clock we were able to remove our cagoules. Fortunately, no one took us up on the free pen offer and we will be able to use these for future promotions.”
He promised that if Andy Murray was successful at Wimbledon he would present him with a free pen in appreciation of his contribution to British sport.