30 December 2014

Tripe retailers warned to prepare for end of year sales rush

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has warned tripe retailers across the UK to ensure they have adequate stocks to meet a higher than usual anticipated end of year demand.

Hyde retailer Lyndon Boot
The warning comes after private polling by the TMB revealed that more people than ever were considering trying tripe as a hangover cure on New Year's Day.

"Tripe dishes have always been a traditional hangover cure, whether in Mexico, Rumania or here in Lancashire, but our recent success in reaching out to a younger audience via the social media means that more and more people are discovering the benefits of tripe," Sir Norman said. 

Scientists are divided as to why tripe should be such an effective cure for hangovers.  A recent paper by Dr Franklyn Meadows of the University of Wigan suggested there are chemicals within tripe which help the body absorb alcohol more quickly.  Others have pointed to the valuable emetic properties of dishes containing tripe.

Sir Norman said: "I'm not a scientist, but it's clear that tripe has a valuable role to play in helping youngsters get over the effects of over consumption.  My advice to tripe retailers is to stock up in order to meet the demand over the next day or so".


24 December 2014

TMB will "learn lessons" from 2014 says chairman

Tripe lovers have been urged not to 'panic buy' today as the traditional pre-Christmas Day shopping frenzy comes to its head.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "If people remain calm, there will be more than enough tripe to go round".  He reminded consumers that most shops were closed for only 24 hours over Christmas and that tripe could be kept perfectly fresh for such a brief period.

Speaking from his holiday home in Marbella, Sir Norman went on to re-assure people that the TMB constantly monitored demand for tripe and would take active measures to intervene if stocks became low.  "There's no doubt that more people than at any time since 1971 will be enjoying tripe this Christmas. We await the 3rd quarter sales figures with interest - if sales of our 2015 Diary are used as an indicator for tripe consumption over the past few weeks, I look forward to reporting some positive news early in January."

TMB Books sold out of its entire stock of 2015 Diaries within five weeks, leaving disappointed customers no option but to purchase copies from Amazon. Sir Norman said the TMB would be learning the lessons for future years.  "Perhaps with a little more foresight, we could have raised more for our Christmas charity, the MS Society.  As it is, 85p from every copy sold on Amazon will go to them, so there's a chance our total of £210 already raised will increase a little more over the days ahead."



22 December 2014

TMB chairman unveils new way to support #MSisOffal campaign

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle called on tripe lovers the world over to make "one last push" to raise money for the TMB's Christmas charity, the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Speaking from his Lytham home last night, Sir Norman said: "We believe that over £400 has already been donated to the MSS through the 'Ooh - you are offal!' Twitter campaign.  In addition, through sales of our 2015 Diary we have raised an additional £210 which we'll be sending off to them in the new year".

Sir Norman thanked everyone who has already participated. "Everyone has been most generous in uncovering offal puns - including our colleagues at British Spleen, to whom we are particularly grateful," he said.

He also unveiled a new way to support the cause.  "Earlier this year, we issued our Annual Report and Accounts on Kindle.  I'm told it hasn't yet charted, but I have decided that all of the profits from its distribution - £1.25 from each sale - should also be donated to the MSS".

The Report costs £1.93, is available wordwide, and distills all of the information from the TMB's 2015 Diary into a handy digital platform. "I'd like to think people will enjoy reading about the TMB's activities over the past 12 months, and if we can raise a few more pounds for this fantastic cause, all to the good," Sir Norman said.

"It's also perfect for people who don't have the kind of busy social life that requires them to have a diary," he added.

#MSisOffal

21 December 2014

"Gift of Tripe" Christmas campaign kicks off

Fewer people than ever will be choosing turkey this Christmas, according to a poll carried out for the Tripe Marketing Board earlier this week in the north-west of England.

TMB Christmas poster campaign
36% said they 'fancied a change' and would be looking at other cuts of meat for their Christmas lunch, while 13% planned a veggie yuletide meal.  16% declined to answer because they were too busy and a further 4% said they would do so only if offered a token payment.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "This presents a fantastic opportunity for tripe retailers up and down the country to persuade people to give tripe a try this Christmas."

Sir Norman yesterday unveiled the TMB's Christmas poster campaign, which would run in selected butchers and pet food stores over the next few days.  He added that tripe left-overs - just like turkey - could be used to make a tasty and nutricious curry on Boxing Day. "Not everyone yet appreciates the versatility of tripe but we're going all out to get the message across over the festive season," he said.

19 December 2014

'Mission Accomplished!' says TMB chairman

The Tripe Marketing Board has today reached its target of raising £200 from the sale of its 2015 Diary for the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Announcing the achievement, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "I would like to thank everyone who has purchased a copy of our diary.  When we made it available to the general public we little thought it would prove so popular!"

Speaking from the TMB offices in Preston today, a relaxed Sir Norman went on to say: "This afternoon, we calculated that - thanks to tripe lovers - we've raised £207 in a little over five weeks.  In fact, from our initial stock we've only got three copies left".

The TMB 2015 Diary has become the fastest-selling meat-based marketing board diary in history.  Sir Norman derided claims in the December issue of the industry journal Offal Monthly that the diary was little more than a 'thinly-veiled catalogue for TMB Books'.

"We may have mentioned one or two of our other books in passing, but we've yet to receive a single complaint about it," he said. 




Heroes of Tripe 2014: The Results!

The Tripe Marketing Board has published the results of last nights' Heroes of Tripe Awards (or the HOTTYS, as they are popularly called).

Announcing the results at the event in Bolton, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "All of the nominees have, in their own way, contributed to promoting tripe over the last 12 months. There's no shame in being second or third in these awards.  Thanks to their help, sales of tripe have undoubtedly increased during 2014, and we can be confident that 2015 will be the Year of Tripe.  If it isn't, then I'm pretty certain 2016 will be".

THE HOTTYS 2014 RESULTS:  

SPORT
Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson 59%
David 'Bumble' Lloyd 18%
Eamonn Callaghan 4%

MUSIC & THE ARTS
Liverpool Socialist Choir (Tripe Christmas) 85%
Corvus Amateur Dramatic Society 15%

TV
Jeremy Clarkson (BBC 2)   62%
Eastenders (BBC 1)  24%
Strictly Come Dancing (BBC 1) 12%

POETRY
Jonathan Humble  66%
Ian McMillan 20%
David Paul Jobling  12%

RADIO
Rick O'Shea (RTE2 Ireland)  70%
Rev Richard Coles (BBC Radio 4) 17%
Gordon Swindlehertz (BBC Radio Cumbria) 6%

BOOKS
Dr Derek J Ripley (The Lost Films of 20th Century Spatchcock)   71%
Bill Tidy (The Fosdyke Saga)  14%
Michael McIntyre (Life & Laughing - My Story) 14%

POLITICS
Nigel Farage  75%
Boris Johnson  14%
George Osborne  11%

JOURNALISM
Russ Parsons (Los Angeles Times)  42%
Jonathan Gold (Los Angeles Times) 41%
Liz Boulter (The Guardian) 17%

COOKING & CUISINE
Rob Allcock (The Longs Arms, South Wraxhall)  52%
The Hairy Bikers (on a motorbike somewhere) 31%
Sean Lawson (London) 11%

Over 700 votes were cast in this year's HOTTYS.  In a subsidiary question asked of respondents to the poll, the Tripe Marketing Board 2015 Diary was voted funniest meat-based diary of the year - despite the fact that it only came second in the European Meat & Offal Producers' Convention Awards earlier this month.  "We think our poll was much more representative and that our 2015 Diary is the 'People's Choice', whatever our friends in Switzerland think!" Sir Norman said.

18 December 2014

#MSisOffal campaign takes off

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle last night congratulated tripe lovers across the world for their generosity in supporting the 'MS is Offal' campaign.

The 'Ooh - you are Offal!' campaign was launched on Monday and an estimated £300 has already been donated to the Multiple Sclerosis Society by users of the social media as a penance for their offal puns. 

Sir Norman quipped: "It just goes to show that there are some big-hearted folk out there!  I know that just cost me £1, but it's a worthwhile campaign".

The TMB has also pledged 20% of the proceeds from the sale of its 2015 Diary to the MS Society and this has already netted an additional £190.

"Multiple sclerosis is no laughing matter, but I'm delighted that tripe lovers have responded in such a positive way to this campaign," Sir Norman said.

Donations can be made to the MS Society by post, phone or online by visiting their website

#MSisOffal

World of tripe prepares for the HOTTYS


The Tripe Marketing Board is making the final preparations for tonight's 2014 Heroes of Tripe Awards, as the last few votes were counted by independent adjudicator Stuart Wrassle.

The glittering awards ceremony will take place from 7pm in Bolton's Lyceum Ballroom and TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he was anticipating a record turn-out for the event.  Speaking from his Lytham home last night, Sir Norman said: "Heroes of Tripe  - or the  'HOTTYS', as they are popularly referred to - is our way of celebrating the people who have done the most to promote tripe in the last 12 months".

The TMB has apologised for poll error
Voting in the contest had been "brisk" in all categories, Sir Norman said, although the most hotly-contested had been for the Radio and Sporting nominations.  "It's testament to the sterling work that's been done during 2014 by so many people and shows that our key messages are starting to get through," he said.

One Chorley bookmaker had suspended bets on the contest after the TMB was forced to publicly apologise to Mr Graham Swindlehurst, the respected BBC Radio Cumbria presenter who was mistakenly listed in the poll as Gordon Swindlebanks.  Sir Norman blamed the Yorkshire company the TMB had engaged to run the poll.  "We are sorry for any confusion this may have caused voters, but we don't think it has influenced the final result," he said.

The TMB will be 'live tweeting' from the event from 7pm tonight.

 

16 December 2014

TMB launches 'Ooh - you are Offal!' campaign

The Tripe Marketing Board has laid down the gauntlet to social media users who make cheap puns at the expense of offal with the launch of its 'Ooh - you are offal!' campaign, in an effort to raise money for charity in the run-up to Christmas.

The move comes after an interchange on Twitter between actress Frances Barber and Sky TV producer Max Preston at the weekend, in which Ms Barber complimented the TMB for its social media activity.  This prompted Mr Preston to respond with "It's an offal job, but someone's gotta do it!"

Mr Preston was subsequently challenged to donate £1 to the MS Society as a penance for his pun, which he duly did.   When TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle learned of the donation, he sanctioned an all-out campaign against offal puns on Twitter.  Within hours, an estimated £75 had been donated via the MS Society's website.

"If our Twitter followers are vigilant and highlight any offal puns to us, we can perhaps persuade one or two more people to stop making offal puns by hitting them where it hurts - in their wallets!" Sir Norman said.

Sir Norman said the TMB had chosen the Multiple Sclerosis Society as its chosen charity for 2014/15 after his sister was diagnosed with the condition, and an additional £175 has already been raised through the sale of the Tripe Marketing Board's 2015 Diary.

Sir Norman added: "It's time we got tough on offal puns.  With your help, we can wipe them out on Twitter and raise lots of cash for the MS Society."


15 December 2014

TMB chairman apologises for causing offence

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has apologised for an incident which occurred yesterday on the 16.27 train from Leeds to Wigan Wallgate.

In a statement issued from his Lytham home this morning, Sir Norman said: “I was asked to produce my ticket by an inspector but couldn’t find it and was asked to buy another one.  When I said Yorkshiremen are always chasing money this was meant as a compliment. Some of my best friends are Yorkshiremen".

After underlining his intention not to resign his position as chairman, Sir Norman said: "I was taking medication for a chesty cough and on reflection probably drank too much Benylin".

14 December 2014

TMB apologises for clerical error

The Tripe Marketing Board has apologised for a clerical error which led to purchasers of its 2015 Diary being offered a free, limited edition fridge magnet if they bought the diary on Sunday 14 December direct from the TMB's website.

The TMB fridge magnet
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said it was unfortunate that many people would be receiving an unexpected fridge magnet with their diary, but a system malfunction at TMB Books could not be repaired until midnight tonight.  He went on to add: "I'd like to say how sorry I am if this gift - valued at £1.99 - presents any tax difficulties for the recipients.  If they don't want the fridge magnet, people can either throw it away, send it back or give it to a friend".

The TMB promised to honour the offer if anyone bought a diary before midnight on 14 December.  "These are really rather lovely  fridge magnets, and we'd rather not be giving them away just because someone's bought a diary, but the situation is beyond our control," Sir Norman said.

Anyone wishing to purchase the fridge magnet who does not require a diary is invited to visit the TMB online shop for further details.


Top Award for TMB 2015 Diary

The Tripe Marketing Board is celebrating after its 2015 Diary last night scooped a coveted award at the European Meat & Offal Producers' Convention in Berne.

The TMB 2015 Diary was awarded second place in the 'Funniest Meat-based Diary Category', only narrowly losing out to the Deutsch Verein zur Förderung von Kalbsbries Tagebuch 2015.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "We always knew we were up against stiff competition from the Germans and even I would admit their Diary is marginally funnier than ours".

This is only the second time the TMB has made its Diary available to the wider general public, and Sir Norman described sales as "respectable".  He went on to congratulate the editor of Cow Breeder's Monthly magazine for achieving third place, and described their diary as "quite amusing".

The TMB has already raised over £160 for the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society from sales of its 2015 Diary, which is available direct from TMB Books or Amazon.  "My advice is to buy direct from TMB Books, as we are thereby able to gift a greater amount to our chosen charity," Sir Norman said.

 

13 December 2014

Heroes of Tripe 2014



 15 December 2014 Update:  VOTING NOW CLOSED!



The final nominations for the Tripe Marketing Board's Tripe Hero 2014 Awards have now been received and this afternoon saw the release of the shortlist for next week's public vote-off.

Speaking at the unveiling of the shortlist, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "This is a serious award, celebrating the people who’ve done the most in 2014 to help us promote tripe".  He went on to add that he wanted to be clear that people shouldn't take the awards the wrong way.  "For some reason, tripe has become associated with something that’s of inferior quality.  Our Tripe Hero awards are about turning that around," he said. 


SPORT

Blackpool South FC
Baroness Tanni-Grey Thompson
David 'Bumble' Lloyd
Eamonn Callaghan
Norman Whiteside

MUSIC & THE ARTS

Corvus Amateur Dramatic Society
Liverpool Socialist Choir (Tripe Christmas) 

TV

Eastenders (BBC 1)
Strictly Come Dancing (BBC 1)
I'm a Celebrity (Get Me Out of Here) (ITV1)
Jeremy Clarkson (BBC 2)
White Dee (Channel 4)

POETRY
Adrian Littlejohn
David Paul Jobling 
Ian McMillan
Jonathan Humble 

RADIO

Anna King (BBC Radio Gloucester)
Dan Saladino (BBC Radio 4)
Elliot Webb (BBC Hereford & Worcester)
Gordon Swindlebanks (BBC Radio Cumbria)
Jay Rayner (BBC Radio 4)
Joe Grundy (BBC Radio 4)
Liz Green (BBC Radio Leeds)
Malcolm Boyden (BBC Hereford & Worcestor)
Rev Richard Coles (BBC Radio 4)
Rick O'Shea (RTE2 Ireland) 

BOOKS

Bill Tidy (The Fosdyke Saga)
Dr Derek J Ripley (The Lost Films of 20th Century Spatchcock)
Michael McIntyre (Life & Laughing - My Story)

POLITICS

Boris Johnson
George Osborne
Nigel Farage

JOURNALISM

Jonathan Gold (Los Angeles Times)
Liz Boulter (The Guardian)
Russ Parsons (Los Angeles Times) 

COOKING & CUISINE

Rob Allcock (The Longs Arms, South Wraxhall)
Matt Bennett (Sybaris Bistro)
Sean Lawson (London)
The Hairy Bikers (on a motorbike somewhere)

Voting opens on Monday 15 December - please check our website on Monday for further details.





10 December 2014

'Too much tripe on Twitter' claim denied by TMB

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has denied claims in the industry journal Offal Monthly that there is 'too much tripe' on Twitter. 

Speaking at a press conference in Birkenhead this afternoon, Sir Norman said: "It's ridiculous to claim that tripe is dominating the social media.  The TMB takes a responsible approach to Twitter and now restricts its tweets to fewer than 200 a day". 

Sir Norman admitted that the TMB was using Twitter and Facebook to promote its 2015 Diary, but said this was excusable given that there was only a "very small window" to let people know about it in the run-up to Christmas.

"20% of the profits from the sale of our diary are pledged to the UK MS Society, and we've already raised over £120, so naturally we want to give it a bit of a push," Sir Norman said.  He added: "Last year, we ran out of stock very early, and people were forced to buy it from Amazon.  We think we've learned the lessons of that debacle, but we would advise people to buy their copy now to avoid disappointment on Christmas Day.  It's perfect for tripe-lovers and the tripe-curious alike".



8 December 2014

Tripe Christmas bids for the charts

The Tripe Marketing Board has today released its tripe Christmas song Tripe Christmas on iTunes, the digital music platform.

The single - which premiered on BBC Hereford & Worcester last month and was recorded to help promote the TMB's 2015 Diary - features the Liverpool Socialist Singers and has been released following requests from tripe lovers all across the globe.

All proceeds from the sale of Tripe Christmas will be donated on a 50/50 basis to the Liverpool Socialist Singers and the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society - the TMB's chosen 'Christmas Charity' for 2014.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "When this first aired on the Malcolm Boyden show, a spokesman from William Hill quoted a price of 1000/1 for this to become the next Christmas No 1.  I'll be putting a fiver on it myself!"

Sir Norman defended the song's lyrics, which include the controversial lines:

"I'm dreaming of a tripe Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the bankers are in prison
And feel a certain frisson
As ConDems pack their bags and go"

"It's just a bit of fun. The TMB is a strictly non-political organisation, but all our focus group work has shown that tripe is much more popular than bankers, so the allusion seems quite apposite to me," Sir Norman said.

The single can be downloaded via the iTunes store on this link.


7 December 2014

Heroes of Tripe 2014: Call for nominations

The Tripe Marketing Board has launched its annual contest to find the 'Heroes of Tripe' for 2014.  Nominations - which close on Friday 12 December - are welcome for the person (or persons) who have done the most to promote tripe during the last twelve months.

Tripe lovers will then be invited to cast their vote in a number of categories, including sport, politics, music, journalism, film and the media, before the result is announced at a glittering awards ceremony to be held at the Lyceum Ballroom in Bolton on Thursday 18 December.

Launching the contest this afternoon, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "2014 has been a standout year for tripe.  Sometimes, it's seemed like you can hardly turn on the TV or pick up a newspaper without coming across tripe. We're sure to have a fine crop of nominees to choose from and the contest promises to be keenly fought".

Confirming that the competition was only open to humans, Sir Norman said: "Our Tripe Dog 2014 and Tripe Cat 2014 contests drew record numbers of entries.  This time, it's strictly for our two legged friends.* Everyone's got their favourite tripe celebrity - I know I have!"

Nominations can be made via the TMB's Twitter account @TripeUK by using the 'hashtag' #tripehero, through the Facebook group 'We Love Tripe' or by e-mailing Sir Norman direct via sirnorman@tripemarketingboard.co.uk.

*Excludes employees of the Tripe Marketing Board, although tripe dressers and retailers are encouraged to participate.

TMB over half way to tripe target


In a little under a month, the Tripe Marketing Board 2015 Diary has sold 100 copies on Amazon and a similar number  direct from the publisher, TMB Books - making it the fastest-selling book published by TMB's publishing arm since it was established just over two years ago.

Speaking from his Lytham home, chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "We've pledged 20% of the profits from the sale of the diary to the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society, a charity that's dear to my heart.  I understand that we've already raised £108 towards our target - we've got one of those lines on the wall in the office, like they used to have on Blue Peter, and I'm told it's now reached the coat stand next to the water cooler!"

Sir Norman said the diary made a perfect stocking-filler for anyone working in advertising, marketing and the tripe industry as a whole, as well as anyone who was looking for something to brighten up their days in 2015. "Someone bought 10 the other day. I'm not sure who they are, but it was probably some high-powered advertising executive in London, or perhaps just someone who wanted to take advantage of the discount for bulk purchasing," he said.

The diary is available to purchase direct from TMB Books, or from online retailer Amazon via the link on this page.




6 December 2014

TMB campaign wins award

'Sorry - We're Open'  Spaatchcock & Spaatchcock, 2014
The Tripe Marketing Board last night scooped a top place at the 2014 International Offal Industry Marketing Awards.

The awards ceremony, held in Rome, was attended by record numbers and the TMB was awarded 3rd place in the Most Inventive Marketing category.

Judges praised the TMB's 'Sorry - We're Open' campaign for taking post-irony to new levels. IOI president Mr Sven Gurdeman said: "We liked the fact that tripe retailers were being encouraged to recognise that not many people like tripe. We can see how this would work in England very well".

Collecting the award for the TMB, chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "We're not afraid to poke fun at ourselves here at the TMB.  We find using humour has had a definite impact on sales of tripe in the UK.  It's a shame some of our continental counterparts don't do the same".

Sir Norman surprised observers by spurning the formal attire of dinner jacket in favour of a Choose Tripe t-shirt.  "If our patron can do it, then so can I!" he quipped - a reference to a Tweet earlier in the week by Sky cricket correspondent Ian Ward, which showed his colleague David 'Bumble' Lloyd wearing a similar t-shirt.

4 December 2014

UK tripe consumption "may be rising"

Provisional UK consumption figures for November 2014 suggest a "small, but perceptible" increase in tripe sales, according to unadjusted returns from retailers across the country. 

Hyde Market
Tripe Marketing Board chairman, Sir Norman Wrassle, said: "Until we get all the returns collated, it would be premature to say tripe has turned the corner, but I am quietly encouraged by these results - I have a feeling in my blood that tripe sales may, at last, be rising!".

Speaking at a meeting of the Longridge Women's Guild last night, Sir Norman said: "These figures don't take into account the impact of 'Tripe Tuesday' - the first Tuesday of December - which has been well-received this year".

Sir Norman pointed to the success of Hyde retailer Lyndon Boot, who boasted of his 'busiest day and week ever', as being typical of reports being received from market stalls across the UK.  "We're confident that, with initiatives such as our Tripe Christmas single, there'll be much more tripe around over the weeks ahead than people ever thought possible!" Sir Norman said.

3 December 2014

Open Letter to the Plain English Campaign



An Open Letter from Sir Norman Wrassle, 
chairman of the Tripe Marketing Board 
to Mrs Christine Maher, OBE
founder-director of the Plain English Campaign

Dear Mrs Maher

My attention has been drawn to media reports of your annual awards for plain English 2014 - in particular, your award of the Golden Bull prize for 'the worst examples of written tripe'.

You may not be aware of the fact, but here at the Tripe Marketing Board we are fighting a rearguard action against the use of the word tripe to signify something of inferior quality.  Every time the word is used in such a negative context, it makes our task of promoting what is a cheap and nutricious product all the more difficult.

You may very well think that tripe is an 'easy target', that perhaps we can be dismissed as 'yesterday's food', but I can tell you that it is making a comeback.  The decline in sales that has bedeviled us since the 1950s may not yet have been arrested, but it has certainly slowed spectacularly as a result of our efforts. Our cause is not helped one iota by such a lazy comparison.

I am not here to defend the baffling prose of Edinburgh Council's 'Programme Momentum Progress Report'.  They no doubt have teams of PR executives who are paid handsomely to fight their corner.  Yet, I cannot sit idly by and watch you sully our fine product by comparing it to such rubbish.

May I suggest that, instead of focusing on the negative, you cast your eyes over a selection of books that celebrate all that is good about tripe - published, as they are, by the Tripe Marketing Board's own imprint, TMB Books?

I hope, after you have done so, that you will look differently at tripe, and that you will find our product distinctly to your taste.  Perhaps you could then ask your officers to come up with a description of the Golden Bull award that is less disparaging to our foodstuff?

Yours sincerely


Sir Norman Wrassle
Chairman








 

New board appointment at TMB

The Tripe Marketing Board yesterday confirmed the appointment of a new board member, Mrs Laura Mullan

Mrs Laura Mullan
Mrs Mullan is the fourth female member of the board and firmly establishes the TMB as the most progressive meat-based marketing board in Europe.

Announcing the appointment last night, chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "I am delighted to welcome Mrs Mullan onto our board. She is just the kind of forward-looking mum of three we need to refresh the image of tripe.  More and more people are discovering that there's more to tripe than they thought".

Laura, who is 33, works as a teacher of English as a foreign language in Kent and says Shadow, her Springer Spaniel, is more excited by the news of her new role than anybody.  Mrs Mullan will hold the TMB portfolio for Kent and parts of Sussex and East Surrey.

Mr Sandy Wilkie
Sir Norman also confirmed that recent board appointee Sandy Wilkie had accepted the portfolio for East Lancashire, which includes the important 'tripe capitals' of Burnley, Blackburn and Rawtenstall.
"At the same time as extending our reach to the south, we are strengthening our position in the tripe heartlands. We have to watch our back, as other offal producers are starting to look at our successes and trying to emulate them.  Our message is clear - accept no substitute!"

Sir Norman apologised that Mrs Mullan's appointment had come too late to feature in the TMB's 2015 Diary.  "We did think about organising a second edition, but since we only usually sell about 70 copies of our diary, it wasn't really economically viable," he said.  He advised those who had already bought the diary to make the necessary corrections to Mr Wilkie's biography.

2 December 2014

Tripe Tuesday a 'huge success' says TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has declared the second ever 'Tripe Tuesday' a resounding success, with more tripe sold than at any time in the last thirty years.

As the TMB received the final reports from tripe retailers across the country, Sir Norman said the figures proved, once and for all, that tripe was making a comeback.  Stockists in markets across the UK reported a brisk trade from the moment stalls were open, with demand particularly strong in the so-called 'tripe triangle' of Bury, Blackburn and Bolton.

Sir Norman dismissed fears that importers had tried to leap on the bandwagon with supplies of cheap, counterfeit tripe by selling wet towels to unsuspecting customers.  "Our advice is to always look on the label.  If it says 'Real' you can be assured it is," he said.

He went on to add "Tripe Tuesday has been a huge success.  In fact, there's never been a better time to try tripe!"

Meanwhile, TMB Books - the publishing arm of the Tripe Marketing Board - reported an unusual interest in one of its more esoteric publications - The Lost Films of 20th Century Spatchcock.  Head of publishing Doreen Gray, said: "Until this week, you could count the number of people who had read this - our second publication - on four dozen hands. It could be that 'Tripe Tuesday', combined with our aggressive strategy of reducing the price from £9.99 to just £6.99 has piqued people's interest". 


 

Avoid panic on Tripe Tuesday says TMB chairman

The Tripe Marketing Board has reassured consumers that supplies of tripe are plentiful and that they are unlikely to be disappointed as the annual 'Tripe Tuesday' kicks off today.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe retailers are bracing themselves for a busy day, but TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "We are advising people not to panic buy. If people remain calm, there will be enough tripe for everyone".

He warned, however, that stocks of the TMB's 2015 Diary were running low.  "Demand for the diary has surprised us, and we have ordered a further 20 copies from the printers.  Until they arrive, my advice is for people to order their copy now - particularly if they are intended as Christmas gifts."

The 2015 Diary is available direct from TMB Books or via internet retailer Amazon.  The TMB's promotional video Tripe Christmas has been viewed over 300 times in a week - a record for a tripe-based promo video.

"This could be the best year tripe has ever had and we are on course for my ambition for 2015 to be the 'Year of Tripe' to at last be realised," Sir Norman said.

1 December 2014

Retailers prepare for Tripe Tuesday bonanza

Tripe retailers across the country have been preparing for a record-breaking 'Tripe Tuesday' - the annual day of the year when most tripe is sold.

The day was first initiated by the Tripe Marketing Board in 1979 as 'Tripe Thursday', but  the idea was dropped when it failed to stimulate sales.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "The apparent success for retailers of 'Black Friday' has convinced us that the time is ripe to give the idea another push".

TMB Pen
As part of the initative, anyone purchasing £100-worth of tripe from selected retailers will be eligible to receive a limited edition TMB pen - seen right (subject to availability).

Sir Norman said he was "quietly encouraged" by sales of the TMB's 2015 Diary.  "More and more people are discovering that, when it comes to tripe, it's what's on the inside that counts," he said.  The TMB has pledged that 20% of the profits from the sale of its diary will be gifted to the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society.  Sales of the 2014 Diary raised £200 for the Snowdon Trust, a charity supporting disabled students.

The Office of Tripe Consumption will shortly be issuing the UK sales figures for tripe in November. "We think people might well be surprised!" Sir Norman said.

30 November 2014

TMB Books launches TripeCat 2014 contest

TMB Books, the publishing arm of the Tripe Marketing Board, has launched a contest to find the internet's favourite Tripe Cat.

The contest - via the social media platform Twitter - launches at 11am on Sunday 30 November 2014 and closes shortly afterwards at 1pm.  Head of publishing at TMB Books, Doreen Gray said: "We're disappointed that Twitter would only allocate us 2 hours for this contest, but we understand their concern that there is already a surfeit of cat pictures on Twitter.  Nevertheless, we hope it will prove popular with cat lovers and tripe lovers across the world".

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "After the success of our Tripe Dog 2014 contest, which was won by the Northamptonshire dachshund @WillyPongoColes, we had a number of requests from Twitter followers to run a similar contest for cats.  Everyone knows that dogs love tripe - and more and more humans are learning to love it, too.  But this new initiative could open up a whole new market for tripe".

The contest is being run via the newly-launched @TMB_Books Twitter account.  Sir Norman explained the rationale behind the launch by saying: "We know that many of the people who read our books do not necessarily yet like tripe.  Our new Twitter account will allow us to reach out to the key consumer demographic of book-loving 'tripe-curious' people".




28 November 2014

TMB appoints new board member

The Tripe Marketing Board yesterday confirmed the appointment of Mrs Denise Tomlinson as the latest member of its board.

Mrs Denise Tomlinson
Mrs Tomlinson, 38, will hold the portfolio for London and the South pending further board appointments.

Announcing the news last night, Sir Norman Wrassle said: "Mrs Tomlinson proved her mettle in October, when she took a step that we hope many more people will take by trying tripe. I am delighted to welcome Denise aboard at a time when the TMB is starting to pique people's interest".

The appointment brings to three the number of women on the board, which Sir Norman said proved the TMB's firm commitment to equal opportunities.  "I'd like to think we are taking the lead amongst meat-based marketing boards and it would be fantastic if our colleagues at British Spleen and UK Brawn followed in our footsteps," he said.

Mrs Tomlinson's introduction to tripe features in the TMB's 2015 Diary, which Sir Norman said was selling better than he had dared hope. "Last year, we donated £200 to the Snowdon Trust charity from sales of our 2014 Diary.  I'm hopeful we will be able to more than match that if more people purchase a copy of our 2015 edition," he said. 

20% of profits from this year's diary are pledged to the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society. He underlined his 'money-back' pledge if people didn't think it was the funniest meat-based marketing board diary in the world.*

* offer excludes the Deutsch Verein zur Förderung von Kalbsbries Tagebuch 2015.
 

27 November 2014

It's Official! The Greatest Lancastrian 2014 is...

It's Lancashire Day - the day when Lancastrians all over the world traditionally celebrate their shared heritage and love of tripe!  Retailers all over the county have reported brisk sales as people stocked up on tripe in the run-up to today.

It's also the day when the poll to find the Greatest Lancastrian came to its conclusion. An unexpectedly large field of candidates submitted via the TMB's Twitter account, @TripeUK led to frenzied voting before the poll closed.  Over 400 people cast their vote in what has rapidly become the internet's largest meat-based poll to find the year's greatest Lancastrian.

Announcing the results at an award ceremony in Chorley earlier this evening, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "The Tripe Marketing Board's publishing division, TMB Books, is proud to once again sponsor this glittering event. This year, it has been much more fiercely contested, with four categories to reflect the breadth and depth of talent within our county".

The winners were as follows:

Greatest Cricketer:                             Mr David 'Bumble' Lloyd      (67% of category votes cast)
Greatest Comedian:                            Mr Eric Morecambe             (52% of votes cast)
Greatest Historical Lancastrian:          Mr Tom Finney                    (38% of votes cast)
Greatest Living Lancastrian:                Dr CP Lee                           (42% of votes cast)

None of the winners were able to be present for the ceremony, either because they were currently in Sri Lanka, deceased or (in the case of Dr Lee) having new carpets fitted.

In declaring Mr Lloyd the overall winner, Sir Norman told a packed gathering "All of these individuals can be proud of the contribution they have made - or are making - to promoting Lancashire in the wider world".

This is the first time a Greatest Lancastrian has retained the title.

"I'd like to personally congratulate Mr Lloyd for the work he has done to put our county - and tripe - on the map and butchers' slabs of Britain," Sir Norman said.

Sir Norman himself polled a creditable 3% in the Greatest Living category and 2% in the Greatest Cricketer category.  "To be honest, I was surprised to even be nominated. It's a good base to start on for future years, though," he said, adding "It's many years since I stood at the crease".

TMB chairman pleads for calm on Lancashire Day

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle last night appealed for "calm and common sense" among Lancastrians, following calls by Lytham councillor Nigel Farnworth for an independent Lancashire.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking at a meeting of the Leyland Womens' Guild, Sir Norman said: "Every year for as long as I can remember, Cllr Farnworth has used his traditional 'Eve of Lancashire Day' speech to demand independence for Lancashire.  Here at the Tripe Marketing Board, we'll be celebrating all that's good about Lancashire - and for us that means a county that's forward-looking, dynamic and welcoming of  people of all backgrounds and ages.  Tripe is a Lancashire foodstuff that has conquered the world.  Only last week I was talking to the people of Hereford about it.  We have no time at all for the likes of Nigel Farnworth and his small-minded prejudices."

Sir Norman said he hoped people would stay calm and carry on buying tripe - wherever they lived. "Common sense tells us that we can't develop the tripe industry simply by relying on our core consumers.  We must reach out and embrace people of all cultures and persuasions - even those in Yorkshire".

In response to a question from the audience, Sir Norman said he would be spending Lancashire Day as he always did: "I'll be putting on a CD of that fine Bolton folk singer Woodly Gutteridge singing 'This Lancs was made for thee and me', tucking into a nice bowl of tripe and onions washed down by some Thwaites beer and following it up by a delicious Chorley cake!" he said. 


26 November 2014

Tripe Christmas

The Tripe Marketing Board yesterday unveiled its Christmas TV advertising campaign, which will air on carefully selected cable channels in towns across the north west in the run-up to the festive season.


Speaking at the launch event in Preston, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "This year, we've gone for something a little edgier than our usual fare.  Nonetheless, I hope it will give John Lewis and Sainsbury's a run for their money".

The ad (Tripe Christmas) features a re-working of a classic Christmas song refreshed and performed by the Liverpool Socialist Singers.  Nigel Peggotty, co-director of the creative agency Bootle Boggle Peggotty who created the advert, said: "Our focus groups showed that people are getting fed up with the usual tripe they get at Christmas, so it was important we found a fresh way to promote the product".

Sir Norman denied suggestions from a reporter from Offal Monthly that Michael Buble had turned down approaches from the TMB to appear in the ad. "While it's true Mr Buble did feature on our initial shortlist, we never actually got as far as talking to his agent," he said.



25 November 2014

TMB chairman challenges Amazon over classification

The Tripe Marketing Board has complained to internet retailer Amazon, after its 2015 Diary has been categorised as 'Humour: Parody' in its sales ranking charts.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "Ideally, our Diary should classified under a 'Meat: Offal: Almanac' category, but it appears that no such category exists.  It's not at all clear to me how we will ever get a best-seller under these circumstances".

Head of publishing at TMB Books, Doreen Gray, said: "It's not all bad news.  Our recently published Tales from the Till is doing very well in the 'Retail' category and quite respectably in the 'Business: Humour' charts, but until Amazon relent and introduce more meat-based categories, our Diary is always going to struggle to break through".


TMB denies 'stupid, sweaty little git' jibe

The Tripe Marketing Board has hit back at radical vegans who have accused it of using the newly-published TMB 2015 Diary as a 'thinly disguised attempt to persuade vegans to eat tripe'.

Vegan Monthly, November 2014 (Pic R Lupton)
The accusations were made in the December 2014 edition of Vegan Monthly, who had been invited to attend the launch party for the 2015 Diary last Friday, in what TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said was intended to be a friendly gesture designed to re-assure vegans that tripe came in peace.

Speaking at a hastily-convened press conference in Preston last night, Sir Norman said: "I can't pretend I'm not disappointed by the way they've chosen to cover the launch.  It's no secret that we have a lot of vegetarian followers on Twitter, and in fact we're the only meat-based marketing board in Europe with a vegan board member".

Sir Norman, who was unable to attend the launch event at Liverpool's Hot Water Comedy Club himself due to a prior engagement in Blackpool, said he hoped the coverage would not put vegans off buying the 2015 Diary.  He dismissed claims that the TMB's finance officer Mr Basil Chambers had called the photographer 'a stupid, sweaty little git'.  "That isn't the kind of language Mr Chambers normally uses and unless someone unearths a tape or something I am happy to deny he ever said such a thing," he said.





24 November 2014

Greatest Lancastrian

As we approach Lancashire Day on Thursday 27 November, it's the question that's on everyone's lips - who is the Greatest Lancastrian in 2014?

In previous years, the 'Rochdale Cowboy' Mike Harding and cricketing legend and Sky Sports TV presenter David 'Bumble' Lloyd have both lifted the trophy in the keenly-contested competition.  But who gets your vote?

Tripe lovers can vote now via this link.  For the third year running, the contest is sponsored by TMB Books. Launching the competition earlier today, Tripe Marketing Board chairman said: "It's never easy choosing the best of the crop.  How can you judge between Cilla Black and Emmeline Pankhurst?  I know I couldn't. Thankfully, I don't have to.  We'll leave it to the great Lancashire public to decide!"

Sir Norman dismissed suggestions that his own inclusion in the shortlist was unmerited. "I don't expect to win, but I've done my bit for tripe this year, so I'm not in the least embarrassed to make the cut," he said.


19 November 2014

TMB pledges no fines for people who complain about tripe

The Tripe Marketing Board has undertaken never to fine people who leave bad reviews about its books.

TMB Books' first publication
Chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he thought it would be counter-productive to issue fines to people who left negative reviews on Amazon of books published by TMB Books, the publishing arm of the TMB.  Speaking from his Lytham home this afternoon, he said: "We know that tripe is a very divisive foodstuff.  People either loathe it or hate it.  For example, Mr SG Holt of Radcliffe left a review of our first book, Forgotten Lancashire and Parts of Cheshire and the Wirral.  He said 'No, not for me. Got it from Amazon today. did'nt take long to go through it, I'm a Lancastrian & I just could'nt get into this at all. 106 pages of tripe'.  He only gave it one star - unlike the 24 people who gave it five stars."

Sir Norman said that the TMB had to take such negative comments 'on the chin'.  "We'd much rather pay people to leave good reviews.  That way, everyone's happy," he said.

New Face at the TMB

Katrina Murphy
The Tripe Marketing Board has announced the appointment of its latest board member, Katrina Murphy.  

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "This appointment gives the lie to those who claim the TMB is too male dominated and too heavily focused on promoting tripe in the northern hemisphere.  We know that tripe is very much appreciated in Australia  - in fact, one of the world's biggest producers of tripe in the media has its roots there".   

Katrina consults to employer and professional association clients about industrial relations matters, workplace investigations and Human Resources. "I'm particularly interested in testing the effectiveness of serving hot tripe at enterprise bargaining meetings instead of the usual chocolate biscuits and Minties," she said.

Sir Norman said he was actively considering appointing more women to the board, particularly from areas that are tradtionally under-represented such as London, Wales and the Home Counties.  He said: "The TMB is the most progresssive meat-based marketing board in the world.  I could easily forsee a woman chairman sometime within the next 20 years."

He went on to add: "The publication of our 2015 Diary has certainly piqued people's interest in tripe and I am anticipating more board applications from women. I'm determined to see that tripe smashes the glass ceiling - though perhaps not in St Helens".

17 November 2014

TMB chairman advises boycott of Offal Monthly

The Tripe Marketing Board has hit back at the editors of Offal Monthly, the trade journal for offal producers, after the magazine dismissed the TMB's issuing of its Annual Report & Accounts on Kindle as 'gimmicky' in today's issue.

TRIPE magazine
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "If it's a gimmick to seek to widen the appeal of tripe by making our Annual Report available to the wider general public, then we plead 'guilty as charged'.  Quite frankly, I've had enough of Offal Monthly's carping and endless snide remarks about tripe. We get better press with the vegetarians than we do with our own trade journal."

Sir Norman said he would be advising tripe lovers to boycott the magazine, which over recent months had featured glowing reports on spleen, heart and lung, but not one positive feature on tripe. "If we had the funds, we would ensure a much wider circulation of our own TRIPE magazine, which at least gives a balanced view of our product," Sir Norman said.


TMB Index of Tripe Prices

The Tripe Marketing Board has issued an Index of Tripe Prices, following requests from people outside of the UK about how much they should be paying for tripe.

The ITP is based on the current cost of purchasing the Tripe Marketing Board's 2014 Annual Report & Accounts on Kindle, which was issued yesterday at a press conference by Sir Norman Wrassle, TMB chairman. "Now that they merely have to click on the link below to access our Annual Report, we hope this will make it easier for people across the world to buy tripe," Sir Norman said.

Sir Norman confirmed that 20% of proceeds from the sale of the TMB's Annual Report were pledged to the UK Multiple Sclerosis Society.


$3.99


 R$ 7,78
 CDN$ 3.37
 EUR 2,68
 EUR 2,68
    185.00
 EUR 2,68
 ¥ 348
 $40.47
 EUR 2,68
 EUR 2,68
 £1.93
$3.02




The Annual Report & Accounts of the TMB is also available in the TMB's 2015 Diary, which is available in print form.

16 November 2014

TMB publishes 2014 Annual Report & Accounts

The Tripe Marketing Board has taken the unusual step of issuing its 2014 Annual Report & Accounts on Kindle, the online publishing platform for people who don't like books.

The TMB 2014 Annual Report
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle, said: "We believe we are the first meat-based marketing board to issue our Annual Report in this way.  The results of a focus group held earlier this year suggested that readership of annual reports in the meat industry was declining.  Here at the TMB, we like to think we are one step ahead of our competitors, so we have decided to make our 2014 Annual Report available to anyone across the world via the medium of Kindle".  

Sir Norman said that, up until now, anyone looking for annual reports on Kindle had an extremely restricted choice.  "I was looking the other day, and all I could find for 2014 was the Annual Report of the World Bank, which I think most people would find rather dry.  At least now, there's an alternative available."

The TMB Annual Report and Accounts for 2014 were also available in the 2015 Tripe Marketing Board Diary, which is available in print form from Amazon or direct from TMB Books. "A lot of people tell us they don't use diaries any more because they don't have a social life, so at least if they read our Annual Report on Kindle they'll be able to keep up to date with all that's happening in the world of tripe," Sir Norman said.

Sir Norman defended the decision to charge people £1.93 for the Annual Report by pointing to the higher prices charged by competitors. "This is less than the cost of a caramel macchiato at Starbucks," he said.  He went on to assure tripe lovers that the report represented excellent value for money, and said: "We believe it will give people much more enjoyment.  What's more, we will be paying all appropriate taxes on any profits".

Addendum: The World Index of Tripe Prices is available here.