21 August 2014

An Open Letter to Mr Ken Bruce



From the desk of Sir Norman Wrassle

Dear Mr Bruce

I was disappointed to learn that, during today's show, you made a disparaging reference to tripe and even went so far as to suggest that nobody eats it.  From what I have been told, you were also quite offensive to brussel sprouts but, as I hold no brief for these, I will let that go.

It is a rare day that I miss your show (my wife and I are huge fans of your Popmaster quiz and it's unusual if we fail to score 23 or more), but I was otherwise engaged today, so unfortunately had to rely on one of my team to brief me.  I have to say, it is quite improper of you to use your position to air your prejudices against tripe.

The Tripe Marketing Board has been working ceaselessly to restore the reputation of a foodstuff which was once a staple on Britain's dinner tables, and your off-the-cuff comments threaten to undermine our hitherto successful campaign.  It is a tribute to our staff and our customers that tripe did not appear in the list of most disliked foods in the survey commissioned by our colleagues at BirdsEye.  This is in fact the first time we haven't featured in such a list - a regular feature of the 'silly' season - since 1972, and you can forgive us if we seem to boast a little.

Our own independent polling indicates that the typical tripe consumer is changing.  Their average age fell to 73 last year - an indication, perhaps, that tripe is more popular than you might believe!  In fact, it's more likely that the next person you meet who likes tripe will be a young, north London executive than a pensioner from Wigan.

People across the land are coming to appreciate that, when it comes to tripe, it's what's on the inside that counts.  I hope you will correct the impression you gave that 'nobody eats tripe'.  People are not only eating tripe but, from the feedback we receive, it's clear that they sometimes even enjoy it.

Perhaps you might be tempted to try a bit of tripe yourself? As we approach World Tripe Day in October, you might even want to feature it in your show, and ask someone like Fergus Henderson the acclaimed metropolitan master of offal to cook you some?  Are you man enough to eat tripe, Mr Bruce?

Sincerely


Sir Norman
Chairman
Tripe Marketing Board





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