31 July 2013

An Open Letter to Geoffrey Boycott from Sir Norman Wrassle

Dear Mr Boycott

Sir Norman Wrassle
A very warm Lancashire welcome to the northern home - or should I say holiday home - of cricket. I trust this letter finds you well and anticipating the Test Match as much as I am.

I hope you will forgive my directness – which does not come easy from a Lancastrian – but I have been informed by our media monitors that you described the bowling of both Chris Broad and Steven Finn in the First Test as “tripe.”

The Tripe Marketing Board is working hard to stamp out the derogatory use of the word tripe, which we believe maligns our fine product.  Earlier this month, Andrew Percy, MP for Brigg and Goole -  another Yorkshireman, by the way - described Ken Clarke's views on Britain leaving the European Union as "utter tripe".

I am pleased to say that Mr Percy graciously apologised and accepted our invitation to take the Tripe Taste Challenge at a Morrison’s supermarket in Goole.

I hope, in the circumstances, that you will accept my invitation to take the Tripe Taste Challenge - ideally live on air during one of the many rain intervals which are unfortunately customary at Old Trafford.   It may well be the case that, as a Yorkshireman, you are in fact a lover of tripe – in which case it would be no great hardship for you to undertake the challenge. 

If, by any chance, you have not tried tripe, you can be assured that by sampling it you will be helping an industry which has declined over many decades and you will be joining a pantheon of sportsmen and women who have already acknowledged the role it can play in developing sporting prowess.  This list already includes Jessica Ennis, Dame Tanni Grey-Thompson and Norman Whiteside, of whom I am sure you will have fond memories as a renowned Manchester United supporter.  Is it too much to ask that we might add your name to such an illustrious list?

With best wishes for an enjoyable Test and may I take this opportunity to wish you a very happy Yorkshire Day.

Yours sincerely

Sir Norman Wrassle

30 July 2013

TMB Urges Tripe Lovers To Be Vigilant

The Tripe Marketing Board has called for tripe lovers all over the world to redouble their efforts to spot inappropriate uses of the word 'tripe' by celebrities in the media.

Speaking at a hastily arranged press conference in Chorley this afternoon, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "Our recent victories in the fight to reclaim the good name of tripe shouldn't blind us to the fact that there are still too many public figures - and they know who they are - who will use 'tripe' as an easy shorthand to describe anything they think is sub-standard."

The Tripe Marketing Board recently accepted  apologies from former Bee Gee Barry Gibb, now a successful solo artiste, and from Andrew Percy, MP for Brigg and Goole. Mr Gibb had said publicly that he would 'eat anything but tripe', while Mr Percy used the word to describe comments by his Conservative colleague, Ken Clarke.

"We need our followers on Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites to be vigilant and report to us any inappropriate comments.  They can do so by contacting us via this website or by sending us tweets.  For those not yet connected to the internet, we will accept letters," Sir Norman said.  He went on to promise that the TMB would shortly be unveiling a list of celebrity tripe-lovers who would be the TMB's 'shock troops' in the war to re-instate tripe's great name.

"With the Old Trafford Test Match on the horizon, the message I am sending to people like Geoffrey Boycott is clear. We will not sit back and watch our industry being besmirched by comparisons with poor Test match performances. particularly on our own patch.  This is only the beginning and we are recruiting more interns in our communications department to ensure that this is a fight we will win."

Sir Norman added that he would shortly be announcing the appointment of the TMB's new chief executive following an extensive recruitment exercise costing over £100. "I can promise you we have got the right man or woman at the right time for the right post.  These are critical days for British tripe and we need a true visionary at the helm who can guide us into a new era. We think we've found him."

29 July 2013

Tripe Marketing Board Chairman Hails Fact-finding Mission Success

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe Marketing Board chairman, Sir Norman Wrassle has hailed his recent fact-finding mission to Greece as a huge success for the British tripe industry and has called on tripe producers to prepare for increased orders from southern Europe.

Speaking at a hastily-arranged press conference in Preston this lunchtime, Sir Norman said: "My visit confirmed something I had always suspected - that Greek people are great lovers of tripe and consume it in great quantities in soups, stews and in other forms. Whilst there I did not see a single cow - although my trip was confined principally to the islands of Zante and Kefalonia with only a brief visit to the mainland.  I think this presents British tripe with a great opportunity."

Sir Norman was heartened by local interest in the TMB's new range of CHOOSE TRIPE t-shirts which were proving popular with the under-85 key demographic which needs to be persuaded to give tripe a try.  He said: "I would like to thank the president of Greek Tripe, Mr Constantine Papandreou for the warm hospitality he showed our delegation and for his kind gift of a Greek Tripe pen."

By way of thanks, Sir Norman presented Mr Papandreou with a Tripe Marketing Board 2014 Diary and a selection of promotional materials including a Tripe - Not Just For Dogs t-shirt and matching wallet.

Whilst speaking today Sir Norman took the opportunity to again deny rumours that the TMB was close to signing a sponsorship deal with a north west football club.  He told a reporter from the Lancashire Evening Argus that any speculation about an imminent announcement was misplaced. "It is not the right time or place to talk about these matters after such a successful trade mission has been concluded.  I have barely had time to unpack and I would like to focus on the future for tripe, not on idle gossip," Sir Norman said.

28 July 2013

Important Announcement For Twitter Followers

The Tripe Marketing Board regrets to announce that the tripe train is now full and due to twitter regulations we will be unfollowing some accounts in order to accommodate new followers.

Reasons for unfollowing may include one or more of the following or may simply be arbitrary.

You have not followed us back or have unfollowed us
Your contribution to the debate about tripe has been poor or non-existent
Poor retweeting record
Use of foul or offensive language
Poor choice of football team or political party
Poor personal hygiene

Smoking in the loos

Thank you for your co-operation in this matter

27 July 2013

Tripe-Free Friday 'an unqualified success'

Tripe Marketing Board deputy chairman Professor Ron Harrison has declared the first Tripe-Free Friday  ‘an unqualified success.’

“Our tweets weren’t 100% tripe-free but there were far fewer tweets about tripe. We covered all sorts of subjects from string theory to how to domesticate a bat and we picked  up a record number of followers, some of them good quality.

“It proves you can have too much of a good thing. If you make tripe less readily available, it immediately becomes more desireable. In fact, tripe is so scarce at the moment that we expect a huge surge in demand any day now.

“We had a bit of a glitch when we received a complaint from a Scottish follower about a tweet about swimming in disused gravels pits but we turned it round by issuing an immediate apology and a link to The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water, a scary public information film which is guaranteed to put anyone off swimming in disused gravel pits.”

24 July 2013

Tripe Sales Down

UK tripe sales were down for the second quarter of 2013 (April-June) as unseasonably cold weather hit demand, according to the latest figures from the European Office Of Tripe Consumption in Brussels.

Sales are also expected to be down for the third quarter (July-September) due to unseasonably warm weather. This means that tripe sales will have fallen for the last 224 quarters consecutively.

A Tripe Marketing Board spokesman said, “The weather really hasn’t done us any favours for the last 56 years. Let’s hope that the weather is neither unseasonably warm nor unseasonably cold in the next 56 years.”

TMB welcomes Help To Buy scheme

The Tripe Marketing Board has welcomed the government’s plans to extend the Help To Buy Tripe Scheme. 

The first stage of Help to Buy was launched in April and offers loans to give people the chance to buy fresh tripe with a deposit of just 5 per cent. The scheme has been credited with driving a surge in tripe sales and driving up prices.

A Tripe Marketing Board spokesperson dismissed claims that the scheme could lead to another tripe bubble as “poppycock.”

“Tripe prices have rocketed over the last few years but the market is currently stagnating.  The price of tripe is now beyond the means of many people who  would like to purchase some but are unable to do so. This scheme will ensure that  you will be able to buy tripe even if you are unable to afford it.”

22 July 2013

Government to crack down on images of tripe

The government has announced that it is to crack down on images of tripe which are freely available on the internet.

Prime minister David Cameron said, “Many people find this kind of thing very upsetting.  Let’s face it tripe is not the best looking piece of meat in the butcher’s shop. Many people find it scary and disgusting. It is just not acceptable in this day and age that people should be subjected to this kind of thing.”

The prime minister is expected to announce further efforts to crack down on tripe images online, including forcing internet companies to block results for a “blacklist” of search terms including honeycomb, elder and reticulum.

'My Mission is Complete'-Sir Norman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle landed safely on the Greek island of Zante in the early hours of this morning accompanied by his wife Lady Cheryl. He stooped to kiss the tarmac at Zakynthos International Airport to celebrate the fact that he had fulfilled a vow he made 26 years ago.

“When I became chairman of the Tripe Marketing Board-or British Tripe Marketing Board as it was then-back in 1987, I vowed that I would visit a different country every year in alphabetical order in order to find out what we can learn from the tripe industry in other countries and to extend  the hand of friendship to tripe lovers all over the world.

“In 1987 I visited Argentina, the beef capital of the world, last year I visited Yemen and today my mission is complete. Unfortunately, we were unable to find a country which begins with the letter X but that is by the by.”

Sir Norman said he had originally intended to visit Zambia or Zimbabwe but decided to travel closer to home in view of the current economic climate. His fact finding mission will include a visit to an abattoir and a tripe dressers convention but Sir Norman said that the most important fact he needed to establish first of all was what had happened to his luggage.

TMB Hails Sporting Event of The Weekend

The inaugural Wigan Fun Run sponsored by the Tripe Marketing Board which took place yesterday was acclaimed as "the sporting highlight of the summer" by Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle.

Sir Norman saw the first participants off before leaving for a fact-finding mission to the Greek island of Zante. "This has been a busy weekend of sport in a busy summer of sport," he said, "but this event beats the lot. This is a proud day for tripe and a proud day for Wigan." To encourage members of the public to participate,

Under starter's orders (Pic: QSE Media)
anyone who was unable or unwilling to run the two  mile course was allowed to walk and anyone who couldn’t be bothered to walk was permitted to drive.  

The winner was Mrs Laura McGillivray, 48, of Chorley, who completed the two mile course in 1 minute 46 seconds driving a modified Ford Fiesta.

21 July 2013

Tripe and Sport: A Statement

The Tripe Marketing Board has again denied rumours that sponsorship talks are underway with a north west football club.

Speaking on the eve of his departure to Zante as the guest of the Greek Confederation of Tripe Processers, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "This kind of speculation does nobody any good. I personally have not been involved in any discussions with any football clubs about sponsorship of any kind."

The Lancashire Games, 1964
The Tripe Marketing Board has a proud track-record in sponsoring sporting events such as the Lancashire Games, the Tour de Ince and the inaugural Wigan Fun-Run, which took place yesterday.

"Tripe is the food of sporting champions," Sir Norman said.  "A football club would be a real feather in our cap, although it would be premature for people to start bandying names around."

As the summer of British sporting success continues, tripe retailers were urged to stock up on supplies in readiness of a new wave of interest from youngsters keen to emulate their sporting heroes.

19 July 2013

TMB Denies Sponsorship Rumours

The Tripe Marketing Board last night denied rumours that it is in sponsorship talks with a north west football club.

Speaking at a dinner in Liverpool organised by the Friends of the Albert Dock, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: “There is no truth whatsoever in these rumours.  I can confirm that the Tripe Marketing Board was close to securing a deal with a top north west club in 2008 but was outbid by a group from the Middle East.  I can state quite categorically that we have no plans to enter the world of football sponsorship at this time."

Sir Norman was visiting Liverpool as the guest of Mr Billy Butler, the popular Radio Merseyside presenter. He took the opportunity to address Mr Butler's audience on the subject of the current revival of interest in tripe and the TMB's recent entry into the world of publishing. 

Sir Norman said: "BBC Radio Merseyside gave me a very cool reception yesterday and an even cooler studio, for which I was most grateful on such a searingly hot day."

18 July 2013

New Diet Will Boost Tripe Sales

A new diet sponsored by the Tripe Marketing Board could lead to a huge rise in sales of tripe this summer, retailers were told at a meeting in Warrington last night.  

Launching the new diet, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "At this time of year, we're all looking for ways to shed a few pounds to squeeze into our bikinis before relaxing on the beach. The T-Plan Diet is a new, proven way to lose pounds fast."

The diet has been developed by Lady Cheryl Wrassle, Sir Norman's wife, who launched her popular work-out videos in the 1980s. 

Sir Norman was speaking on the eve of his appearance on BBC Radio Merseyside this afternoon, when he is expected to talk to popular presenter Billy Butler about the Tripe Marketing Board's move into publishing last year, which was criticised at the time by many in the industry.

In 2012, TMB Books published Forgotten Lancashire And Parts Of Cheshire And The Wirral by Dr Derek J Ripley. The Wigan Observer estimated the book had a dozen laughs a page and many reviewers have agreed. Sir Norman said: "The book will appeal to those who don't fancy the T-Plan diet.  Readers may not lose weight by reading it, but at least they will be overweight and happy."

The Tripe Marketing Board's strategy of subliminally promoting tripe was re-inforced this year with the publication of The Lost Films of 20th Century Spatchcock, also by Dr Ripley.  Both books are currently available at a special offer price of just £7.99 including p&p direct from TMB Books. 

Next month the TMB plans to make its industry diary available to the wider public for the first time. "We have been heartened by a new interest in tripe this year. Our 2014 Diary, which will include lots of tips and facts about tripe, articles about sport and tripe, fashion and tripe and celebrity recipes is an important part of our plans to make 2014 the Year of Tripe," Sir Norman said.  

16 July 2013

Typical Tripe Consumer Is Changing

The profile of the typical consumer of tripe is changing with the advent of modern technology and the social media, according to a report by the advertising agency Bootle Boggle Pegotty.  BBP's conclusions are based on face-to-face interviews in selected London restaurants and an analysis of the Twitter account run by the Tripe Marketing Board.

The typical tripe consumer is changing
TMB communications officer, Emily French, said the results were encouraging for the Tripe Marketing Board's campaign to broaden the appeal of tripe. "The report suggests we were correct in underpinning our 2013 sales strategy with a presence on Facebook, Twitter and bus shelter hoardings at selected locations across the south of England," Emily said.

The stereotype of a tripe eater as an 85 year old woman from Wigan no longer holds true. BBP's report indicates that the typical consumer of tripe is as likely to be a man as it is a woman, and that a significant number of transgender people also like it. Only 15% of the TMBs followers on Twitter are now dogs and of these fewer than 2% are transgender.  Tripe is enjoyed across all the social classes, and the typical Twitter tripe lover is aged 35 and lives just outside Lincoln. 

The Tripe Marketing Board was criticised today for hiring a 'Hashtag Ringer' in a move which Twitter Today magazine described as a 'cynical ploy to exploit humour' as a way to market its product after it added over 50 new 'followers' to its account in less than eight hours.

TMB chairman, Sir Norman Wrassle, announced the results of the BBP analysis at a press conference in Chorley today, saying: "I make no apologies for playing the comedy card.  Tripe is often viewed as a 'comedy' foodstuff, so we are playing to our strengths. This vindicates our decision to embrace the social media.  The message is slowly starting to filter through that tripe is not just for dogs - although they are great consumers of it, of course, especially if it is dried."

How Do You Like Your Tripe In The Morning? Survey Results

People who eat tripe for breakfast are less romantic than those who eat eggs. This is the surprise conclusion many people will draw from a survey of the breakfast habits of one hundred tripe eaters conducted by the Men In White in Wigan town centre at the  weekend.

In response to the question “How do you like your tripe in the morning?” more people said they would prefer it with a kipper than with a kiss.

However, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said, “I don’t believe tripe eaters are necessarily any less romantic than egg eaters. This is more a reflection of the age profile of those who took part in the survey than the romantic inclinations of people who eat tripe.” 


With a laxative                     31%
With a nice cup of tea           29%
With a glass of milk              18%  
With Gaviscon                      12%
With a kipper                         6%
With a kiss                            3%
With an egg                           1%   

Sir Norman has asked the TMB's product development division to see what the results mean for the industry and to investigate how tripe can re-claim its place on the breakfast tables of Britain.


15 July 2013

MP Eats His Words

Andrew Percy MP accepted Sir Norman Wrassle's invitation to take the Tripe Taste Challenge at Morrisons' Goole store last Friday.
Andrew Percy, MP (3rd from right) holds some tripe.
Mr Percy sampled a bowl of tripe and onions cooked in milk which had been specially prepared for him by Morrisons' in-house chefs.  Two of the Tripe Marketing Board’s popular Men In White team were present to adjudicate and confirmed that Mr Percy swallowed at least two pieces of tripe without visibly grimacing.

The tasting was filmed by BBC TV and broadcast on Look North (Yorkshire & Lincolnshire) on Friday evening and tripe retailers in the north east have been advised to order in additional supplies in anticipation of a rise in demand.

Sir Norman had been unable to be present at the public tasting after he was stung  by a bee whilst taking a comfort break at Hartshead Moor services on the M62. Recuperating at his Lytham home, Sir Norman said: “I would like to thank Mr Percy for being such a good sport and the staff of Morrisons for extending such a warm welcome to the Men In White. They took the opportunity to inspect the tripe on sale in the store and I am pleased to report that it met our rigorous standards. We can now endorse Morrisons as a 'TMB Approved' tripe retailer.”

After prompt treatment from staff in the A&E Department at Pontefract Hospital, Sir Norman caught up with the Men In White during a visit to Doncaster market and was able to complete his busy weekend of diary engagements by travelling to the Durham Miners’ Gala the following day and visiting Stockton to watch the popular Diversity event on Sunday.

Sir Norman said: “The Miners’ Gala is a traditional gathering of working folk in the north east.  It was important I didn’t let tripe lovers down.  I also wanted to carry our message to younger people, hence my visit to Stockton."

12 July 2013

TMB Tripe Train Goes To Hull & Back

Sir Norman Wrassle
As the Tripe Marketing Board prepares for its first Tripe Taste Challenge today, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has appealed for calm and asked the Lancashire media to stay away from the event in the interests of cross-Pennine unity.

Later today, Brigg and Goole MP, Mr Andrew Percy will be taking the Tripe Taste Challenge at the Goole branch of the Morrisons superstore.

Speaking at a meeting of the Salford Ladies Circle last night, Sir Norman said: "When I issued the challenge to Mr Percy - which he accepted with good grace - I made it clear that this was not some latter-day attempt to stir up the Wars of the Roses.  Yorkshire is a great county with many fine tripe lovers and I would much prefer not to antagonise them on the day Mr Percy will be eating some tripe to show contrition at his remarks."

Sir Norman expressed concern that comments he made about Mr Geoffrey Boycott yesterday may have been misconstrued as an attack on Yorkshire as a whole: "I don't want my remarks to overshadow the imminent launch of our 2014 diary," he said.

Sir Norman will be joining his team of Men In White and the Tripe Girls in a tour of Yorkshire towns today in the hope of restoring good links with the county.  They will be in Goole for the Tripe Taste Challenge in Morrisons supermarket at noon today and later plan a visit to Doncaster market.

11 July 2013

TMB Issues Challenge To Geoff Boycott

The Tripe Marketing Board is to invite BBC commentator and former cricket legend Geoffrey Boycott to take the Tripe Taste Challenge after he used the word tripe in a derogatory manner on at least two occasions today during his test match commentary.

According to the Tripe Marketing Board’s media monitors, Mr Boycott described both Chris Broad’s and Steven Finn’s bowling as “tripe.”

“I am deeply disappointed that someone as respected as Mr Boycott should stoop so low as to refer to an England cricketer’s bowling as 'tripe'," said Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle.

Speaking at a hastily-convened press conference in Preston this lunchtime, Sir Norman said: 

"I can only think that Mr Boycott is unaware of our campaign to prevent comparisons between our fine product and things that are sub-standard.  I will be contacting him to ask him to join the long list of people who have apologised for using the word inappropriately and who have agreed to take the Tripe Taste Challenge including Bee Gee Barry Gibb and MP for Brigg and Goole in Humberside, Andrew Percy*.

“I am a great admirer of Mr Boycott and appreciate that he is known for his plain-speaking and outspoken views but, quite frankly, this is going too far. I would hate to think that his hostility to tripe is due to its popularity in Lancashire and the fact that it is still considered a delicacy there.

“Tripe has a long association with sport. At least two well-known Olympic gold medal-winning athletes have admitted they ate it when they were young and a former Manchester United footballer has also professed a fondness for it.

“It’s a pity that cricket fans should be force fed Mr Boycott’s negative views of it.”

* Mr Percy will be taking the Tripe Taste Challenge at 12 noon on Friday, 12 July at the Goole branch of Morrisons supermarket.

Job Losses Announced at TMB

The Tripe Marketing Board has announced that dozens of jobs are to be shed following a review of its Twitter operations.

The jobs will go at its Preston call centre where
one member of staff is employed to answer calls to the tripe advisory service Tripe Advisor and more than one hundred people are paid on commission to tweet messages about tripe around the clock.

The Tripe Marketing Board has taken this drastic measure following the publication of a report by socialbakers.com called ‘Tweeting too Much? Find Out the Ideal Tweet Frequency for Brands.’

According to the report, some brands tend to overwhelm Twitter followers and post around 20 tweets a day whilst others post only occasionally. TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle ordered an immediate review of its Twitter policy, the results of which have now been announced.

 “The report says engagement decreases after the third tweet and recommends that to keep your audience engaged, you should avoid tweeting too much and too little,” said Sir Norman. 

In a message to tripe retailers, he said: “We have been tweeting at a rate of up to 100 tweets an hour for the last few months so it seems that we may have been overdoing it a little. We have no alternative but to scale down our Twitter operations and lay off dozens of hardworking staff at our principal call centre. On reflection, paying our staff per tweet was perhaps not such a good idea."

TMB To Carry Out Twitter Cull

The Tripe Marketing Board has announced that it is to carry out a mass cull of accounts it is following as part of a review of its Twitter policy.

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said, “When we opened our Twitter account several years ago we didn’t really understand how it worked. We followed thousands of accounts hoping that they would follow us back but sadly the results were disappointing. We were stuck on 7 followers for more than 2 years but now we have got more than 1,000 followers, quite frankly I don’t see why we should follow people who can’t be bothered to follow us back. We will also be unfollowing accounts which contain profanities as most of our followers are over 85 and find it upsetting.”

10 July 2013

Tripe Marketing Board To Be Privatised

The Tripe Marketing Board is to be privatised and floated on the Stock Exchange. The flotation is likely to value the Tripe Marketing Board at between £1,500 and £2,000 excluding office furniture and fittings. Staff are expected to be told they will receive free shares worth as much as £5 as part of its privatisation. However, the Union of Tripe Dressers and Bleachers which represents tripe workers is strongly opposed to the plans and has threatened strike action.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "I hope those working in the industry do not act precipitously. My whistle-stop tour of local radio stations  - and the reaction it is getting from listeners - convinces me that tripe is making a comeback. Privatisation will allow us to explore new ways of bringing tripe to the tables of Britain and a strike just now would threaten our plans to make 2014 the Year of Tripe."

In a parallel move, Sir Norman announced that the TMB would be reviewing its use of the Royal Mail if it, too, was privatised.  He said: "The TMB has always relied on Royal Mail postmen as  our couriers of choice for tripe supplies. We'll have to look carefully at how this pans out, as a lot of dogs may find the change upsetting." 

8 July 2013

The Tripe Train Rolls On

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe retailers across the north of England have been put on alert to order more stocks as the TMB's summer campaign starts to take off.  Following the success of the appearance of Sir Norman Wrassle and the Men In White on BBC Radio Cumbria on Friday, Sir Norman has been booked to appear on BBC Radio Tees and BBC Radio Hereford & Worcester to talk tripe later this week.

Speaking after his return from Wimbledon this afternoon, Sir Norman said: "At last, I feel tripe has turned a corner. After decades of decline, everyone's talking about tripe again - at least north of a line drawn from Bristol to the Wash."

Sir Norman is due to speak on the Mike Parr show on BBC Radio Tees tomorrow (Tuesday) at around 11.30am and said he was delighted to be able to address the people of Tees about tripe's imminent comeback. "I have cancelled an appearance I was due to make at Liverpool market as it is important we step out of the north west to put the case for tripe."

The following day, Sir Norman will be chatting to an old friend, Elliot Webb on BBC Radio Hereford and Worcester about the planned launch of the Tripe Marketing Board 2014 Diary. "Elliot is no stranger to tripe and he has kindly offered me the chance to promote the diary to the good people of Ledbury and Pembridge," he said.  Sir Norman will be appearing on the show at around 10.45am, before an engagement with the Sefton Chamber of Commerce.

The interviews are the start of a busy week for the Tripe Marketing Board. On Friday 12 July at 12 noon, Brigg and Goole MP, Mr Andrew Percy, will be appearing at the Goole branch of Morrisons supermarket to take the Tripe Taste Challenge set for him by Sir Norman after Mr Percy ill-advisedly used the phrase "utter tripe" about comments made by his colleague, Ken Clarke.  Mr Percy has subsequently apologised.  The Tripe Marketing Board will be sending along the Men In White and the Tripe Girls (subject to health) in an attempt to make the event a fun one.  Sir Norman said: "Unfortunately, a prior engagement means I am unable to attend but I want to assure tripe lovers that this is not meant as any disrespect for Yorkshire, which has some of the finest tripe in the world."

Responding to previous criticism that the TMB should attempt to broaden its marketing by appearing on TV, Sir Norman said: "I am convinced that, with a product that looks as unappealing as tripe, radio is by far the best medium for our campaigns."

How To Stay Cool As Temperatures Soar

With Lancashire basking in temperatures in the mid 20s and expected to hit the mid 40s by the end of the week, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has issued the following advice to tripe retailers in Lancashire on how to keep cool.

1. Let the fire go out or switch off the central heating if you have it
2. Open all the windows
3. Take off your thermal underwear

“We are not accustomed to this sort of weather in the north west so it is important that we follow these few simple ground rules in order to keep cool,” said Sir Norman. “I am pleased that so many young men are walking round our towns and cities with their tops off and I suggest older people follow their example. But please do not do this at work as this may cause offence.”

Sir Norman emphasised that this advice does not apply to women or to people who live in Carlisle. “I visited Carlisle on Friday to appear on The Graham Swindlehurst Show on Radio Cumbria. I suggest people who live there continue to wear their thermals for another couple of weeks at least."

Sir Norman had additional advice to people who are still struggling with the heat despite following the guidelines: "Simply put a small sheet of tripe in the fridge and allow it to chill overnight. Place it on your forehead and secure with blu-tack or sellotape. This will keep you cool for at least 10 minutes. When it is no longer cold, simply pop it back in the fridge and repeat the process."

7 July 2013

Party Like It's 1936

"The first British Wimbledon Champion in 77 years heralds a new dawn for tripe," Tripe Marketing Board chairman, Sir Norman Wrassle said today and he advised tripe retailers to stock up on supplies as a jubilant nation celebrated Andy Murray's victory in the Men's Final this afternoon.

"Many lovers of tripe will remember watching when Fred Perry last achieved success at tennis for Britain and I have no doubt that seeing Mr Murray's victory today will have stirred nostalgic memories of tripe," said Sir Norman, speaking from his Centre Court seat this afternoon. 

He had hoped to ask Mr Murray whether he attributed his stamina to eating tripe as a child - which many athletes and sporting greats have done - but was unable to reach the champion due to the sheer numbers in the throng.  Sir Norman said: "I also wanted to present Andy with a Tripe Marketing Board pen to celebrate his victory, but security guards prevented me from approaching him."

Carlisle Visit “An Unmitigated Success”

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has declared Friday’s visit to Carlisle “an unmitigated success."

Sir Norman was in Carlisle to appear on BBC Radio Cumbria and was accompanied by three Men In White who spent the morning trying to persuade locals to put down their pork pies and give tripe a  try.

Whilst Sir Norman relaxed in The King’s Head preparing for his lunchtime appearance on The Graham Swindlehurst Show, the Men In White were busy chatting to shoppers, kissing babies and stroking dogs. Regrettably, a new member of the team had to attend Cumberland Infirmary for a rabies test after stroking a baby and attempting to kiss a dog, but he is expected to make a full recovery.

The Men In White also visited Carlisle’s number one tripe retailer, D Nattrass, in the market hall where they enticed passersby with the offer of a free pen with every £100 worth of tripe purchased.  They were surprised to learn that, despite selling tripe, the proprietor had never tasted it in his life. He was persuaded to give tripe a try and is now a convert.

After a busy morning promoting tripe, the Men In White escorted Sir Norman to the BBC studios after threats that militant vegetarians would be protesting outside the building.  In another victory for tripe, this never materialised.

Speaking from his hotel in London before traveling to Wimbledon this afternoon, Sir Norman said: “The day was a resounding success. We received a warm Scottish welcome from Graham Swindlehurst and the people of Carlisle. We were even fortunate with the weather. It was a typical Carlisle summer’s day and by 3 o’clock we were able to remove our cagoules.  Fortunately, no one took us up on the free pen offer and we will be able to use these for future promotions.” 

He promised that if Andy Murray was successful at Wimbledon he would present him with a free pen in appreciation of his contribution to British sport.

4 July 2013

TMB To Review Twitter Use

Tripe Marketing Board chairman, Sir Norman Wrassle has announced an immediate review of the organisation's use of interns, following complaints from social media users about the TMB's excessive use of Twitter.

In a statement issued tonight, Sir Norman said: "I read in the paper recently that the optimum number of 'tweets' required to establish brand awareness is three per day.  I was alarmed to learn that interns working for the Tripe Marketing Board had been pestering people by issuing well over 300 such communiques in the last 24 hours."

Sir Norman apologised for any inconvenience caused and offered to retrieve any unwanted tweets for recycling.  He said:  "I am slightly annoyed because this comes at a time when tripe is just starting to make its presence felt in the media.  Tomorrow, (Friday 5 July) I will be traveling to Carlisle to discuss our social media strategy with Mr Gordon Swindlehurst live on BBC Radio Cumbria.  I would not like this recent problem to overshadow that discussion, as this will be my first ever visit to Scotland."

He made a pledge to tripe retailers across the country that the TMB would 'tone down' its use of Twitter, saying  "Once again, I am afraid we have been the victim of our own success.  I am ordering  a switch of resources and our interns will be spending more of their time on tried and tested  marketing methods like posting stickers on traffic lights late at night." 

TMB Announces Office Closure

As usual the Tripe Marketing Board office will be closed for Wakes Week which this year will be from July 21 until July 28. Our shop will be open as usual for business.

3 July 2013

Golden Era Beckons For Tripe

The British tripe industry is facing "the opportunity of a lifetime" according to Sir Norman Wrassle, chairman of the Tripe Marketing Board, who was speaking at a luncheon in Lancaster today.

Sir Norman was responding to reports in today's Daily Telegraph that Britain is in the midst of what UK Cabinet Secretary, Sir Jeremy Heywood said was a “20 year generational battle” to rebalance the economy and return the country to financial health.

He appealed to tripe retailers to "stretch out the hand of tripe" to new consumers who would be looking for tried and tested products as they struggled to make ends meet in austerity Britain.  He said it was imperative that the TMB reached younger customers and applauded the work of the TMB communications department in their effort to capture the key 65-84 demographic.

"Our polling and focus groups all send us the same message: people looking for a cheap, tasty and nutricious dish will soon get fed up of beans on toast. We've got to be ready to tempt people with tripe," Sir Norman said.

TMB Chairman Seeks Next Apprentice

Have you got what it takes to become our chairman’s next apprentice?

Are you a dynamic young entrepreneur? Do you have an unusual hairstyle? Are you a bit too big for your boots?  Have you got an idea for a tripe-related business?

Sir Norman Wrassle is looking for 11 dynamic young entrepreneurs who are prepared to face a series of gruelling challenges in order to become his next apprentice and win a £100 investment for their business.

The challenges become increasingly difficult each week.They include running a marathon, swimming the English Channel and writing a best-selling novel. In the final week, the surviving contestants are faced with the ultimate challenge - to sell at least 1lb of tripe from a pop-up store somewhere in the south of England.

In addition to an investment of £100 in their business, the winning candidate will win a Choose Tripe t shirt, pen and mug.

For details of other opportunities at the Tripe Marketing Board please click here

About Sir Norman Wrassle
Sir Norman Wrassle is the charismatic and sometimes outspoken chairman of the Tripe Marketing Board, the UK’s  leading agency for the promotion of tripe. Sir Norman started his first business at the age of just 18 months. Whilst other babies were fast asleep or playing with their toys, Sir Norman - then just plain Norman- was selling surplus milk to other toddlers from his pram. He left school at the age of 6 and began selling pickled cucumbers from a stall on Wigan Market. By the age of 12 he was an international arms dealer with his own company listed on the Stock Market. At the age of 18 he was seriously injured when he fell off the back of a lorry but made a full recovery and is now not only a highly respected businessman but considered to be one of the leading experts on tripe in the whole of Lancashire.