30 July 2013

TMB Urges Tripe Lovers To Be Vigilant

The Tripe Marketing Board has called for tripe lovers all over the world to redouble their efforts to spot inappropriate uses of the word 'tripe' by celebrities in the media.

Speaking at a hastily arranged press conference in Chorley this afternoon, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "Our recent victories in the fight to reclaim the good name of tripe shouldn't blind us to the fact that there are still too many public figures - and they know who they are - who will use 'tripe' as an easy shorthand to describe anything they think is sub-standard."

The Tripe Marketing Board recently accepted  apologies from former Bee Gee Barry Gibb, now a successful solo artiste, and from Andrew Percy, MP for Brigg and Goole. Mr Gibb had said publicly that he would 'eat anything but tripe', while Mr Percy used the word to describe comments by his Conservative colleague, Ken Clarke.

"We need our followers on Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites to be vigilant and report to us any inappropriate comments.  They can do so by contacting us via this website or by sending us tweets.  For those not yet connected to the internet, we will accept letters," Sir Norman said.  He went on to promise that the TMB would shortly be unveiling a list of celebrity tripe-lovers who would be the TMB's 'shock troops' in the war to re-instate tripe's great name.

"With the Old Trafford Test Match on the horizon, the message I am sending to people like Geoffrey Boycott is clear. We will not sit back and watch our industry being besmirched by comparisons with poor Test match performances. particularly on our own patch.  This is only the beginning and we are recruiting more interns in our communications department to ensure that this is a fight we will win."

Sir Norman added that he would shortly be announcing the appointment of the TMB's new chief executive following an extensive recruitment exercise costing over £100. "I can promise you we have got the right man or woman at the right time for the right post.  These are critical days for British tripe and we need a true visionary at the helm who can guide us into a new era. We think we've found him."

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