10 July 2013

Tripe Marketing Board To Be Privatised

The Tripe Marketing Board is to be privatised and floated on the Stock Exchange. The flotation is likely to value the Tripe Marketing Board at between £1,500 and £2,000 excluding office furniture and fittings. Staff are expected to be told they will receive free shares worth as much as £5 as part of its privatisation. However, the Union of Tripe Dressers and Bleachers which represents tripe workers is strongly opposed to the plans and has threatened strike action.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "I hope those working in the industry do not act precipitously. My whistle-stop tour of local radio stations  - and the reaction it is getting from listeners - convinces me that tripe is making a comeback. Privatisation will allow us to explore new ways of bringing tripe to the tables of Britain and a strike just now would threaten our plans to make 2014 the Year of Tripe."

In a parallel move, Sir Norman announced that the TMB would be reviewing its use of the Royal Mail if it, too, was privatised.  He said: "The TMB has always relied on Royal Mail postmen as  our couriers of choice for tripe supplies. We'll have to look carefully at how this pans out, as a lot of dogs may find the change upsetting." 

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