18 August 2013

TMB Denies Dragon’s Den Rumours

Sir Norman Wrassle
Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has denied rumours that he turned down the opportunity to appear in the latest series of the popular BBC TV series, Dragons Den.  

In an informal 'podcast' interview with Offal Online, Sir Norman said: Dragons Den is one of my favourite TV programmes and I would love to be on it. I’ve got all the qualities needed to become a dragon. I am tall, can be grumpy at times and quite enjoy humiliating people. But above all, I am very wealthy - one of the 100 wealthiest residents of the Fylde, in fact.

Responding to criticism that he did not have the face for television he said: “It seems to me that in the latest series the producers are going for looks and I certainly can’t compete with Kelly Hoppen or the new young man in that department.   But if they ever change their criteria and are looking for an old school businessman, someone who’s made a few bob through sheer hard graft and who is not afraid to roll up their sleeves - and give the set a much needed makeover, completely free of charge - then I’m their man."

Sir Norman promised that, if selected, he would not use the opportunity to promote tripe.  He said: "We know from research that tripe is a subject best covered on the radio. It may not be the best-looking meat in the butchers but believe me it has a great personality.  I would also very much welcome the opportunity to meet Evan Davis, of whom I am a great admirer. I have an extensive selection of ties and would be happy to lend him one for the the duration of the series.”

This is not the first time Sir Norman has been associated with a popular TV programme. Last year he was due to appear on the Channel 4 programme Undercover Boss but the programme was never broadcast as Sir Norman was identified within half an hour by eagle-eyed members of staff when his false beard caught fire.

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