10 August 2013

Tripe Marketing Board Denies Prejudice Claims

The Tripe Marketing Board has denied accusations that it is prejudiced against vegans.

The accusation was made yesterday by Professor Richard Barker, one of the TMB’s followers, in response to a message which the TMB issued on Twitter in which it appealed for new followers but added the clause “No vegans please.”

The TMB immediately offered to establish diplomatic relations with The Vegan Society  on condition that they made the first move but received no response.

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said, “The tweet was simply a bit of fun. We did not think vegans would want to become followers of the TMB. They probably think we are just a bunch of bloodthirsty monsters who gorge themselves on the stomachs of sentient creatures whilst some tripe lovers no doubt view them as a bunch of nutjobs who  wear paper clothes and live off leaves and twigs.

“The Tripe Train experienced technical difficulties last night and was forced to stop at around 8pm. We are not accusing The Vegan Society of sabotage at this stage - it could have been the work of an extremist splinter group after all - but we think the breakdown may not be a coincidence.

“Let me make it very clear. We are not prejudiced against vegans. Many of our followers are vegetarians and there is room on the Tripe Train for everybody, even vegans,  but probably in a separate carriage. We are offering the hand of friendship to The Vegan Society if Professor Barker is prepared to broker peace talks.”

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