15 October 2013

TMB Denies Rumours Of Huge Increase In Tripe Sales

The Tripe Marketing Board has moved swiftly to deny media reports that sales of tripe have more than tripled during 2013.

Speaking at a meeting of the Parbold Ladies Circle last night, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle dismissed the reports as "uninformed froth", and told the gathering: "While there is anecdotal evidence that tripe is becoming more popular, we have no firm evidence of any huge rise in sales.  It would be premature to claim such an increase at this stage."

The unattributed claims were published in the October issue of  Offal Monthly, which also ran an editorial suggesting that the Tripe Marketing Board was 'lying low' and deliberately keeping a low profile amid fears that it could be abolished if it was seen to have been too successful.

Sir Norman Wrassle
In response, Sir Norman said: "It's arrant nonsense to suggest we are worried we might go the way of our colleagues in the Milk Marketing Board. Tripe and milk are two very different products - even in our heyday we were never able to arrange daily deliveries of tripe to households all across Britain."

Sir Norman said that the TMB's decision to 'let go' of four of its communications staff who were responsible for the board's Twitter campaign was "entirely unconnected" and that this was a simple business decision designed to balance the TMB's books after an expensive summer promotion campaign.

"Our recent appeal to tripe lovers to help fund our campaigns was not the success we had hoped - although pledges totalling £55 would have doubled our marketing budget overnight.  Sadly, we did not meet our target and therefore we cannot call in the pledges, so our plans to make 2014 the Year of Tripe will have to be shelved just now," Sir Norman said.

Sir Norman said that the TMB would now focus its energies on the inauguration events for World Tripe Day on 24 October 2013.  "Those who have suggested we are not trying hard enough to promote tripe have obviously not tried flogging tripe themselves," he said.

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