|Sir Norman Wrassle|
1. Let the fire go out or switch off the central heating,
if you have it
2. Open all the windows
3. Take off your thermal underwear
“We are not accustomed to this sort of weather in the north west so it is important that we follow these few simple ground rules in order to keep cool,” said Sir Norman. “I am pleased that so many young men are walking round our towns and cities with their tops off and I suggest older people follow their example. But please do not do this at work as this may cause offence.”
Sir Norman emphasised that this advice does not apply to women or to people who live in Carlisle, where temperatures are expected to stay close to freezing for a week or two more.
Sir Norman said people who are still struggling with the heat despite following the guidelines should follow this additional advice: "Simply put a small sheet of tripe in the fridge and allow it to chill overnight. Place it on your forehead and secure with blu-tack or sellotape. This will keep you cool for at least 10 minutes. When it is no longer cold, simply pop it back in the fridge and repeat the process."