28 April 2015

TMB chairman offers to fight Mayor of London after further tripe slur

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has challenged Mayor of London Boris Johnson to a bare-knuckled fight at a venue of his choosing.

The challenge comes after Mr Johnson described suggestions that he had banned bagpipes in London as "total tripe" during a visit to Enfield as part of the Conservative election campaign.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking from his Lytham home earlier this evening, Sir Norman said: "As a non-governmental agency the TMB has been observing a purdah since the election was called.  But we cannot sit idly by and watch our fine product being denigrated in such a way".  Sir Norman said Mr Johnson had "laid the first punch" and he felt duty bound to defend tripe.

"The Mayor of London is a serial offender.  This is at least the third time in the last two years he has used the word tripe in a negative context. It's time he put up or shut up," he said.

Sir Norman, who was the 1959 North West Lancashire Junior Lightweight Boxing Champion, said he would be equally happy to debate with Mr Johnson on a radio station of his choice. "This is a red line issue as far as tripe is concerned," he said.

Mayor must stop denigrating tripe
Boris challenged to withdraw tripe slur

27 April 2015

TMB "did not fabricate names" on tripe letter

The Tripe Marketing Board has denied fabricating names on a letter of support from 50 tripe lovers published in the May issue of the industry journal Offal Monthly.

The accusation was made earlier today on Lancashire Radio's The Darwen Debate, after an Accrington resident called the show to deny ever having expressed his regard for tripe.

Speaking at a hastily-convened media conference this afternoon, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle admitted that the letter had been circulated by TMB communications staff in an effort to bolster the case for tripe, but denied that any of the names had been added without consent.

The letter was part of the TMB's latest initiative to show that tripe is now becoming popular amongst a younger generation.  Sir Norman said: "I have it on good authority that the gentleman who complained is in his 30s, but all of the signatories to the letter were between the ages of 50 and 65".

Sir Norman confirmed that they were all genuine tripe lovers.  "I can only assume the caller has an older namesake, in which case it is all a bit unfortunate," he said.

22 April 2015

TMB denies editing Wikipedia pages

Sir Norman Wrassle
The Tripe Marketing Board has strenuously denied suggestions that it has been involved in the editing of a number of Wikipedia entries in an attempt to promote tripe.

The accusations were made in an editorial in the April edition of the industry trade journal Offal Monthly.  Speaking at a meeting of the Westhaughton Ladies' Circle earlier today, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "I would like to take this opportunity to strongly refute these allegations.  It is quite improper to suggest that either I, or my staff, have tried to portray tripe in a more positive light by tampering with entries on Wikipedia". 

Sir Norman said the TMB had its work cut out marketing tripe on Twitter and Facebook without having to resort to the online encyclopaedia.  He told the audience of Lancashire housewives  "I can assure you that we have better things to do with our time.  In any case - there is quite enough tripe on there already".

1 April 2015

Slowest ever fall in tripe sales

First quarter 2015 tripe sales recorded the slowest ever fall in sales since records began.  The seasonally adjusted figures show that average per capita consumption decreased by just 0.0011 kg in the three months since 1 January, helped by aggressive promotional activity by the Tripe Marketing Board, continuing economic uncertainty and a trend for meat consumers to consider cheaper alternatives to their usual cuts.

Norman Whiteside
Although this is the 230th successive quarter in which tripe sales have fallen, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he welcomed the news.  "We have a number of initiatives up our sleeves such as the forthcoming re-launch of Tripe Club, the re-publication of  Professor Richard Hawkins'  A Brief History of Tripe and some exciting seasonal price cuts".  

He pointed to the forthcoming opening of Manchester's first tripe restaurant  in 40 years as evidence of the tripe revival.  Mondongo will specialise in  nose to tail eating - cooking every part of an animal so that nothing is wasted - and tripe will be its signature dish.  Mondongo is the brainchild of Manchester United legend Norman Whiteside.

Sir Norman said he hoped consumers would take a leaf out of Greece's book, where tripe is a popular dish at Easter.  "We'd like to give lamb a run for its money this year," he said.

Manchester restaurant will specialise in tripe

Manchester is about to get its first tripe restaurant in over 40 years. Mondongo will specialise in nose to tail eating - cooking every part of an animal so that nothing is wasted - and tripe will be its signature dish.
Norman Whiteside

Mondongo is the brainchild of Manchester United legend Norman Whiteside, who said: "In London there’s no shortage of restaurants which serve tripe. But for some reason there’s not much choice in Manchester. I spend a lot of time here but apart from Chinatown there’s nowhere I can get it. I love Chinese food as much as the next person but it would be nice to eat tripe prepared in other ways. When Mondongo opens in the Northern Quarter later in the year I know there’ll be somewhere I can dine with my friends when we’re on a night out in Manchester".

Mr Whiteside said Mondongo would be serving tripe in at least 40 different ways including the traditional Lancashire way - served raw with vinegar or stewed in milk and served with onions.

"Having travelled extensively playing football I know there are lots of other ways to prepare
tripe. There are some fantastic tripe dishes out there and we’ll be serving as many of them as we can. I’ve called the restaurant Mondongo because it’s the name of my favourite dish - a Puerto Rican tripe stew," he said.

The news has been welcomed by Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle, who said: "We’re delighted. Tripe sales have been on a bit of a downward curve since the end of the war but there are signs that the tide is turning. We think it’s finally become cool again and what better place to open a tripe restaurant than Manchester, the capital of cool?"