24 June 2015

Tripe Bucket Challenge Condemned by TMB

The Tripe Marketing Board has condemned plans by a north west pet food retailer to take part in a 'Tripe Bucket Challenge' as "unhelpful" and "possibly dangerous".

Mr Stephen Riley
The challenge, scheduled to take place on Saturday 27 June 2015 at 5pm, will see Merseysider Stephen Riley having two buckets of raw green tripe thrown over him, in an attempt to raise funds for the charity Canine Health Concern.

Speaking at a media conference earlier today, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "Mr Riley looks like a young and fit individual, but people should be aware that it is possibly dangerous to immerse yourself in quantities of raw green tripe."

It is understood that Mr Riley will be taking the precaution of wearing goggles and will have his mouth taped shut. "Even so, this won't be pleasant for him," Sir Norman said.  He pointed to the experience of TV celebrity Katie Cutprice who, as part of the Spatchcock TV production I'm Famous Put A Wasp In My Mouth, had been immersed in a vat of tripe for two minutes in a show broadcast in 2012.  She left the programme shortly afterwards, suffering from severe shock and trauma.

"Apart from anything else, this stunt is unhelpful as we are trying to promote tripe as a flavoursome foodstuff for humans.  Mr Riley's actions threaten to reinforce the stereotype that it's only fit for dogs," Sir Norman said.  He also pointed to the risk of 'copy-cat' challenges being undertaken, saying: "In an age of social media, there's the possibility that other people will attempt this challenge and, before we know it, we'll find tripe is the laughing stock of YouTube".

He went on to encourage people to nevertheless make a donation to the charity. "I know I will be," he said.

Full details of the Tripe Bucket Challenge can be found here.

Chairman's Diary Dates

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has accepted an invitation from the Mayor of the municipality of Skiathos in the Greek region of the Sporades to undertake a short fact-finding visit in August 2015.  Sir Norman said he would be interested to find out whether the current Greek economic crisis had impacted favourably on sales of tripe in the region.

In July, Sir Norman will be addressing the 45th biennial congress of the Lancashire Association of Townswomen's Guild on the cultural impact of tripe.  He is expected to use the occasion to launch the TMB's eagerly-awaited publication, A Brief History of Tripe.

Sir Norman has also accepted an invitation to appear as a guest on KCRW's Good Food show, on a date yet to be determined.

20 June 2015

TMB condemns anti-austerity march

The Tripe Marketing Board has moved swiftly to condemn today's anti-austerity demonstration in London.  TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle described the event - which saw hundreds of people assemble in the capital to protest against the Government's cuts in public spending - as "unhelpful to tripe".

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking at a meeting of the Westhaughton Women's League earlier today, Sir Norman said: "I quite understand why some people - however misguided they are - may find the prospect of another five years of grinding austerity unpleasant.  But I would ask them to pause for a moment and think of the damage that could be done to the British tripe industry if the Government abandoned its policies".

Sir Norman said that the last five years had been good for tripe, as more and more people had rediscovered the virtues of a foodstuff that is nutritious, filling and fantastic value for money.  In his closing remarks - which drew muted applause - he said: "I think some people are unnecessarily frightened by the word 'austerity'.  We only need another few years of it before everyone will be eating tripe."

19 June 2015

Tripe purchasing simplified

The offal industry regulator OffOffal is introducing a new initiative called UK OffalBuy. UK OffalBuy is designed to make buying offal easier for everyone to understand.

Tripe is available from a variety of retailers, many of whom are listed on Tripe Adviser.

Purchase of offal will be broken down into five simple parts:

An access charge - this is what your offal supplier will charge you for purchasing the offal (per minute)

A service charge - the company you’re buying the offal from decides how much this charge will be

A 'service plus' charge - the offal supplier will levy a small amount for this 

A packaging charge - currently 5p per transaction

A customer satisfaction levy - this helps to maintain your satisfaction with the purchase and is a small percentage (currently 0.57%) of the purchase price, net of the packaging charge  

From 1 July 2015, the TMB's access charge will be just 5p per minute for all purchases above 0.25gm. If you have a TMB membership card, then it’s 2p per minute when purchasing online or from your mobile.

You can also add one other offal purchase (including heart, lung and spleen) for free to your Tripe Circle - just log in to My Account and select Manage My Tripe Circle. And calls to the TMB Customer Service will still be less than 75p per minute when made from your Tripe landline and Tripe mobile.

May tripe sales figures inaccurate

Tripe sales figures for May 2015 may have been overstated, Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle acknowledged today.

He told a media conference in Chorley that figures issued earlier this month should have been seasonally adjusted, and apologised for any inconvenience caused to industry observers.  "We won't be rushing to claim a rise in sales again until we're absolutely sure - although June is looking very promising from where we stand," Sir Norman said.

TMB denies paying for 'fake' reviews

The Tripe Marketing Board has denied orchestrating dozens of 'fake' reviews of its products, after an  investigation by industry regulator OffOffal revealed widespread abuse of online rating systems.

Speaking at a meeting of the Ramsbottom Ladies' Circle last night, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "This is an odious practice and I am pleased to say we have never engaged in it".

Since the launch of the TMB's publishing arm, TMB Books, its publications have accumulated some 68 five star reviews and fewer than two one star reviews.  Sir Norman said he would prefer it if tripe-lovers made their own minds up, adding: "Although we specialise in fact-free history, we have also branched out into tripe poetry and human observation".

In response to questions from the audience, Sir Norman said it was "too early to say" whether the TMB would be publishing a 2016 Diary.  "Although tripe lovers raised over £1000 for our chosen charity MS UK, only £235 came from sales of the 2015 diary. We're looking closely at whether this is the best use of our resources," he said.

Current TMB Books publications:

Forgotten Lancashire and Parts of Cheshire and the Wirral (2012) 
The Lost Films of 20th Century Spatchcock (2013)
Tripe Marketing Board Diary 2014 (2013)
Tales from the Tills (2014)
Tripe Marketing Board Diary 2015 (2014)
My Camel's Name is Brian (2015)

12 June 2015

Jail sentence for students who disrespected tripe

Four students who posed naked on a Lake District mountain whilst holding pieces of tripe have been given jail terms and fined.  Yorkshire-born Elizabeth Hawkins, Canadians Peter and Linda Daniels, and Dutchman Jan Sal admitted causing a public disturbance.

The group was blamed for a magnitude 0.9 earthquake after stripping on Scafell Pike, which is considered sacred amongst many Cumbrians.

They were jailed for three days, but their sentences were back-dated to reflect time already served.  A judge at Preston Crown Court said the four had shown remorse and ordered the jail terms to run from 9 June, meaning the group is technically free to leave.

Elizabeth is expected to travel back to Barnsley on Saturday, her lawyer said.  Her father Richard Hawkins said the sentence was "firm but fair" but said she was  "traumatised" after pictures of her holding a sample of tripe and laughing had appeared in the social media.

"Elizabeth knows what she did was wrong and disrespectful and she is deeply sorry for any offence she has caused to the people of Cumbria," he said.

The students, who admitted to urinating on a box containing 8oz of uncooked tripe had posted photos of themselves posing naked on the media-sharing website, SlapBack.

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he hoped the students had learned their lesson.   In a statement issued late this afternoon, he said: "Tripe has a proud history in the north west of England and we need young people to show it proper respect".

He went on to add: "We're not expecting many people under the age of 75 to eat the stuff, but clearly we can't countenance them urinating on it".

5 June 2015

Tripe sales rise for first time since 1958

May 2015 saw the first ever increase in tripe sales since 1958, figures released by the Tripe Marketing Board revealed today.

Year-on-year sales rose by 0.002 kg per head of population, with the largest rises being recorded in the South East and  East Midlands.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he was delighted at the news. "This vindicates entirely our aggressive sales strategy during the Spring and bodes well for second quarter sales figures if the trend continues into June," he told a media conference in Preston this afternoon.

Sir Norman admitted that the increase masked a continued decline in tripe consumption, with average per capita consumption decreasing by 0.0010 kg.  "We're not sure what's going on, but we think some people may be stockpiling tripe or else using it in alternative ways such as a replacement for carpet underlay," he said.

In response to questions, Sir Norman said that sales of Trype, a gum-based alternative to tripe aimed at younger consumers, were encouraging, but he accepted that it was too early to say how successful the new product would be.  "Sales of tripe books are also on the increase so, who knows? 2015 may well yet turn out to be a bumper year for tripe!" he said.