24 June 2016

BREXIT heralds new dawn for tripe says TMB chairman

Tripe retailers have been advised to expect a surge in demand as people all over Britain woke up to the consequences of the Vote Leave victory in the EU referendum.

As markets reacted to the result, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said that a plummeting pound and the prospect of rising prices meant there would never be a better time for tripe to reassert itself as a 'food for the people'.

Speaking on Lancashire Radio's Wake Up, Lancashire! show this morning, Sir Norman heralded a "new dawn for tripe".  "There's no doubt that the economy is going to go through a torrid time over the next few months.  People will be looking for a cheap and versatile food and they'll soon get fed up of beans on toast," he said. 


20 June 2016

"Help me decide!" pleads TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today called on tripe lovers across the land to help him make up his mind about the EU Referendum.

Speaking at a hastily-convened press conference in Chorley this afternoon, Sir Norman said he was "genuinely undecided," and would be guided by the views of tripe consumers as to how to cast his vote in Thursday's poll.

He said the arguments for Britain staying in or leaving the EU were finely balanced, with the impact on tripe sales not being as clear cut as he had previously thought.

Sir Norman Wrassle
"In the end, I'm prepared to be guided by those who might have looked into things more than I have," he said.

Tripe lovers are asked to express their preference by using the hashtags #RemainTripe or #LeaveTripe in social media postings. 

Sir Norman said he would be bound by the result, but added: "Obviously, whatever the outcome, I hope people will also buy more tripe."

8 June 2016

Tripe Club registration extended until midnight Thursday

Enrolment into the Tripe Marketing Board's Tripe Club has been extended to midnight on Thursday, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle confirmed earlier today.

Speaking after a luncheon appointment in Chorley, Sir Norman denied suggestions that the TMB's website had crashed under the weight of applications late last night. "We've simply discovered that we have rather more badges and books than we thought we had," he said.