29 December 2016

10 Recipes for Your New Year Hangover

Tripe retailers across the country are gearing up for one of their busiest New Year periods ever!  

As 2016 - universally regarded as one of the most depressing years since 1954 - draws to a close, many folk will spend New Year's Eve drowning their sorrows by consuming vats of cheap wine or barrels of beer before beating their spouse and retiring to their beds in a drunken slumber.  The next day, their husbands will be logging on and Googling for 'traditional hangover cures' - and this is where tripe comes in.

The Tripe Marketing Board has sourced 10 of the world's best hangover cures, all of which are guaranteed* to induce sobriety fast.

So, whether you're in Preston, Rome, Wakefield or Casablanca - pick up a bit of tripe tomorrow, and be prepared!

10 GUARANTEED* Hangover Cures
  1. Pancita - Mexican tripe and pigs feet stew 
  2. Menudo - Mexican tripe stew 
  3. Dobrada - Portugese tripe stew
  4. Pho -  Special beef noodle soup
  5. Trippa alla Romana - Italian style tripe
  6. Trippa alla Parmigiana alla Morocco - Moroccan style tripe (with Mozzarella cheese)
  7. African style tripe and onions  
  8. Arroz caldo de jeneva (includes tripe)
  9. Tripe alla Gordon Ramsay
  10. Flaczki - Polish tripe soup   
* Guarantee not valid in Poland, Italy, Africa, Portugal, Mexico, Indonesia or Lancashire 

26 December 2016

More tripe on TV this Christmas than ever before!

UK TV viewers are being treated to more tripe over the Christmas season than at any time since records began, according to figures released by the Tripe Marketing Board's media monitoring unit.

'Peak tripe' was reached on Christmas Day evening, when Channel 4's Travel Man show featured Hollywood actor Rebel Wilson and host Richard Ayoade for a fun-packed whizz round Florence in a mini-break mixing art, action, gelato, a drive in a classic Alfa Romeo, and some tripe, while BBC 2's Victorian Bakers revealed how tripe was a principal ingredient in Victorian mince pies.

Victorian Bakers - BBC 2, 25 December 2016
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he was delighted that tripe had featured so prominently in TV schedules over Christmas, describing it as "A dream come true!"

Speaking from the Caribbean island of Martinique, where he is engaged in top-level talks to promote tripe, Sir Norman said: "Getting our product placed so effectively at Christmas caps off the year nicely.  We'll be working hard to ensure this continues into 2017."

The TMB's Head of Media Monitoring Emily French said Christmas was always a busy time for the unit. "You'd be surprised how often the word 'tripe' and 'TV' crop up together over the Christmas period.  Mentions of tripe in the social media tend to peak whenever the Michael Mcintyre show is aired - so much so that we've had to reassure our Twitter followers that we did not sponsor this year's Christmas special".

22 December 2016

Enjoy tripe responsibly this Christmas season

As Christmas approaches, the Tripe Marketing Board has appealed to tripe consumers across the country to act maturely over the holiday season.

Industry analysts suggest that more tripe will be consumed this Christmas than at any time since 1974 and TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said purchasers should act in a responsible and dignified manner.

"We know this has been a difficult year for many people and that some will have been drawn to try tripe in an attempt to economise.  Just because it's cheap, people shouldn't go mad," Sir Norman said.

Sir Norman was speaking prior to commencing a three week fact-finding tour of the West Indies.  He pointed out that tripe is now available from more and more retailers, adding "Whether you live in Birkenhead or Blackpool, our advice is to enjoy tripe responsibly."

The TMB's offices are closed over the Christmas period, but a dedicated 24 hour Tripe Hotline will be set up to deal with customer queries.  The board's Twitter feed, @TripeUK, will be delivered by a combination of automated tweets and an outsourcing agency in Wrexham.


19 December 2016

Rhubarb alliance could bring a "new dawn for tripe"

Talks between the Tripe Marketing Board and the Yorkshire Rhubarb Council could be an important stepping-stone to a tripe renaissance, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle told an audience of food industry executives at the weekend.

Tirimasu - "ahead of the curve"
Although he stressed that discussions were at an early stage, he said he was excited at the prospect of  working with the YRC to develop new product lines.  He pointed to the recent launch of a banana and bacon trifle by food retailer Waitrose as the direction of travel for food in the future. "Whether the consumer likes it or not, they will have to get used to unusual combinations such as raspberries and liver or even kidney and pomegranate as we chart new territory in the quest to sate the jaded palates of the food-buying public," Sir Norman said.

"This could be a new dawn for tripe.  We were actually ahead of the curve with our Tirimasu product earlier this year, but the whole 'fruit and meat combination' concept represents the perfect opportunity to promote tripe," he added.

16 December 2016

"Tripe on the Moon" by end of decade, pledges TMB chairman

The Tripe Marketing Board has pledged to use all of its available resources towards an historic attempt to land a piece of tripe on the Moon by 2020.

The move follows the announcement that a pie launched yesterday had achieved space orbit and had safely returned to earth earlier today.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said that the pie industry had "thrown down the gauntlet" and that tripe would respond in kind.  Speaking at the annual Christmas lunch of the Chorley & District Women's Circle, Sir Norman talked of the "eternal battle in Wigan between tripe and pies" and said it was not a war tripe was prepared to lose.

An extract from Sir Norman's speech is available here, and details will be released shortly of a Crowdfunder campaign to raise the resources for what Sir Norman called "the most ambitious plans yet released" for tripe to reach the Moon. The move follows a TMB Christmas advertising campaign to persuade the people of Wigan to drop their pies and return to the tripe which is their town's historic legacy.

8 December 2016

TMB reassures Tripe Club Members

The Tripe Marketing Board has moved to reassure members of Tripe Club that the bulk of their personal details are safe after a security breach at the board's Preston HQ earlier today.

Have you seen this badge?
In a statement issued shortly before his resignation, TMB Director of Corporate Governance Mr Harry Golightly confirmed that, shortly before 3pm, a person or persons unknown had entered the Tripe Club office whilst it was unoccupied and had removed a number of membership records.

"We do not believe this presents a real or present danger to Tripe Club members," Mr Golightly said, but he added that all members should be alert for possible attacks from vegan militants.

At a press conference called in response to media interest in the story, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle admitted that a number of Tripe Club membership badges had also been stolen. "We know that there are currently only 56 confirmed members of Tripe Club, so if anyone spots someone wearing a badge, please let us know, as it's highly likely they are connected to this crime," he said.  

7 December 2016

"Tripe must not be complacent" says TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today warned industry executives that it would be a mistake to take the future of the UK tripe industry for granted.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking at a meeting of the British Confederation of Offal Processors in Wakefield, Sir Norman said that the TMB had been working ceaselessly since 2012 to arrest the continued decline in tripe sales and that, while there were signs that the pace of decline had slowed to a record low, it would be wrong for the industry to be complacent.

"Back in 2012, I set out my Five Year Plan for Tripe.  We had high hopes of making 2013, 2014 and then 2015 the Year of Tripe but, sadly, it was not to be," Sir Norman said.  Nevertheless, he felt there was plenty for the industry to be proud of, and he pointed to the dozens of impartial observers who thought that 2016 was already the best for tripe even before the year was out.

"I feel it in my fingers - I feel it in my bones," he said, adding "This year has been our finest since we launched our plan to put tripe back on the butcher's slabs of Britain".

In response to audience questions, Sir Norman hinted that it might be time for a tripe re-brand.  "I have recently been wondering whether it might not be time to 'hang up my apron' and to hand the mantle on to the next generation," he said.  His forthcoming fact-finding tour to the Caribbean offered the perfect opportunity for some soul-searching, and he would be making an announcement on his return, he said. 

1 December 2016

Tripe Promotional Itinerary Confirmed

Sir Norman Wrassle - "top-level talks"
Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has unveiled his ambitious plans to market British tripe across the globe.

Speaking at a meeting of the North West Lancashire Ladies' Circle this afternoon, Sir Norman outlined a punishing itinerary of promotional visits from December 2016 to February 2017 that will take in visits to Martinique, Dominica, Montserrat and the British Virgin Islands, before concluding with top-level talks in Kingston, Jamaica.

"I hope this gives the lie to those who claim that the British tripe industry is not doing its bit to put the case for our product," he said.

In response to questions from the audience, Sir Norman confirmed that he would also seek to promote the TMB's extensive range of books during his tour. "We will follow the lead of Boris Johnson in this regard" he said, adding "After all - a tripe book is for Christmas, not for life!"