8 December 2016

TMB reassures Tripe Club Members

The Tripe Marketing Board has moved to reassure members of Tripe Club that the bulk of their personal details are safe after a security breach at the board's Preston HQ earlier today.

Have you seen this badge?
In a statement issued shortly before his resignation, TMB Director of Corporate Governance Mr Harry Golightly confirmed that, shortly before 3pm, a person or persons unknown had entered the Tripe Club office whilst it was unoccupied and had removed a number of membership records.

"We do not believe this presents a real or present danger to Tripe Club members," Mr Golightly said, but he added that all members should be alert for possible attacks from vegan militants.

At a press conference called in response to media interest in the story, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle admitted that a number of Tripe Club membership badges had also been stolen. "We know that there are currently only 56 confirmed members of Tripe Club, so if anyone spots someone wearing a badge, please let us know, as it's highly likely they are connected to this crime," he said.  

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