13 June 2017

"Time to calm down and buy more tripe" says TMB chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today called for calm and asked UK consumers to consider putting tripe higher up on their shopping list.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking at a meeting of the Westhaughton Ladies' Circle, Sir Norman said that the recent general election had created a febrile atmosphere in which community was pitted against community and families were divided over who to vote for.

"In common with previous elections, the TMB did not make any recommendation to tripe lovers on how they should cast their vote," he said, adding "we merely indicated that the industry preferred a strong and stable government that would continue with the austerity programme that has been so successful for tripe".

Sir Norman, who spent the election period on a fact-finding visit to the Cayman Islands, said he was pleased to return on Saturday to find that the industry's preference had been realised, but added that he was alarmed to learn that the government might be abandoning its austerity plan.

"There's no doubt it's been good for sales of tripe, which have continued to fall at a much lower rate over the previous seven years," he said. Sir Norman said he was encouraged that inflation now seemed to be rising again. "The less money people have, the more we can tempt them to try cuts of meat - like tripe - that are inexpensive but have perhaps been overlooked in the past".

Sir Norman was challenged by a journalist from the Wigan and Westhaughton Chronicle about the apparent left-leaning tone of many of the tweets issued by the TMB over the past three weeks. He said it was a tactical decision after private polling revealed that many younger people were considering voting Labour. "Our social media department are deliberately targeting the under 70s in an attempt to make our product more appealing, so we followed standard marketing advice by talking to them in their own language," he said.