2 November 2017

Russian vegans suspected of 'fixing' offal poll

Moscow-based members of Мясо - убийство - a shadowy network of Russian vegans that has been targeting meat-based food promoters since 2014 -  has been accused by the Tripe Marketing Board of attempting to undermine the integrity of an online poll to find britain's favourite offal.

The results as they stood at 8pm on 2 November 2017
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said that the poll, which still has one day left to run, showed all the signs of having been tampered with. In the face of stiff competition from brains, tongue, kidney and spleen, both tripe and liver made it through to the 2017 Grand Final. "Whatever inherent popularity liver may have, there's no doubt that when it comes to personality and looks, tripe trumps it," Sir Norman said.

He was speaking at a meeting of the Westhaughton Ladies' League, where he was guest of honour at their annual AGM and Festival of Flower Arranging, Cooking and Butchery. "We have strong reason to suspect there has been a flood of votes from Moscow with the sole aim of taking the shine off tripe's successful World Tripe Day celebrations last week," he said.

Sir Norman pledged that the vote would be declared null and void if this proved to be the case, adding "At the end of the day, we know liver just isn't that popular."


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