31 January 2018

TMB to get rid of Tripe Girls before conventions in response to darts ban

The Tripe Marketing Board has announced that it will no longer use Tripe Girls as the practice of having scantily clad women standing in front of tripe stalls "does not resonate with our brand values and clearly is at odds with modern day societal norms."

The Tripe Girls
A statement issued by the TMB on Wednesday read: "The TMB will end the long-standing practice of using walk-on Tripe Girls, commencing with the start of the 2018 Offal Processors Convention in Burnley later this year."

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said "We consider the time spent by tripe retailers at the convention as one of celebration, where guests and various performers can add to the glamour and spectacle of the event, enabling promoters and partners to showcase their countries and products." 

The decision comes just days after the Professional Darts Corporation announced it will no longer use walk-on girls to accompany players on their way to the stage, although this has since been revealed as a ruling made by television broadcasters.

Sir Norman paid tribute to the work of the current group of Tripe Girls over the last two decades, but said they were now something of an anachronism adding "In any case, the individuals involved had expressed a desire to spend more time with their grandchildren." 

16 January 2018

Tripe industry 'must learn lessons' of Carillion collapse says chairman

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has called on those working in the tripe industry to learn the lessons of the collapse of the multinational facilities management giant Carillion.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking at a hastily-convened press conference in Barnsley this lunchtime, Sir Norman said it was important that all managers looked carefully at what had happened with Carillion to ensure that the same would not happen with tripe.

"I am pleased to say that Carillion are not involved with the tripe supply chain, so our customers won't be affected at all," he said.  Nevertheless, it was beholden on the industry to examine the collapse of Carillion so that a similar fate could not befall tripe.

"One of the key lessons is that, well before the company went down the pan, senior executives at Carillion were able to properly secure and protect their bonuses, salary increases and pensions," Sir Norman said, adding "that's why I have today asked our financial team to prepare similar protections for our senior managers."

Sir Norman, who had interrupted his January fact-finding visit to Antigua to return to the UK to brief senior staff, said he felt sure that tripe producers and consumers would support his approach to corporate responsibility. "2018 promises to be a fantastic year for tripe," he said.