30 March 2018

TMB apologises after intern tweeted 'wrong image'.

The Tripe Marketing Board has apologised after tweeting an image which was interpreted by a number of people as suggesting that UK Prime Minister Theresa May had been chosen as a 'poster girl' by the TMB.

The error occured after an intern covering the
Mistaken cow image
TMB's Twitter account over the Bank Holiday weekend mistook an instruction to post an image of a cow which had appeared next to the PM on her recent pre-election photo opportunity tour of the UK.

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he was deeply sorry for any confusion his instruction had caused, saying "I spotted a particularly attractive cow during the TV coverage of Mrs May's visit to Northern Ireland on Thursday and said it would make the perfect poster girl for tripe, but it appears as though my comments were misinterpreted."

Sir Norman said that efforts were being made to contact the farmer in the hope that the cow could be signed up for promotional events for tripe, adding "In the meantime, I would like to apologise for any distress that might have been caused to either Mrs May or to the cow."

15 March 2018

TMB to block 23 Vegan social media followers

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today confirmed that the TMB would be 'blocking' 23 of its Twitter followers who have been identified as Vegan sympathisers.

Sir Norman Wrassle
The move follows a series of incidents at the weekend in which culinary-grade tofu was found smeared on door knockers at the homes of three prominent UK tripe industry representatives.

Speaking at a hastily-convened press conference in Leyland earlier today, Sir Norman dismissed suggestions that the blocking was an over-reaction. "We have known about these people for some time and have to some extent tolerated their activity, but it is important that we publicly demonstrate that these latest actions are a step too far," he said.

Sir Norman said that, while the TMB had no evidence that the 23 individuals concerned had been involved in the tofu smearing activities, he had no doubt that this would emerge at some point in the future. "Until then, people are just going to have to trust us - this is a time for blind faith, not questions," he said.

In the meantime, he called upon the people of Britain to buy more tripe. "That's really the best way to respond to the Vegans," he said.

1 March 2018

TMB denies product placement allegations

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle today moved to deny suggestions that the TMB has received secret payments from the Italian Federation of Tomato Processors (FIPP) in return for promoting tripe recipes that include copious amounts of tomatoes or tomato-based products.

Trippa alla Romana
The allegation, which came via an editorial in the March issue of Offal Monthly, was based on what the magazine termed 'detailed analysis of the TMB's Twitter feed over the last four months'.

Speaking earlier today from his Lytham home, Sir Norman described the assertion as baseless, adding "It's true that we may have mentioned Trippa alla Romana once or twice - and that this is a dish that requires plenty of tomatoes to make it a success - but we have certainly never said they should be Italian tomatoes."

Sir Norman went on to say that the dish had become a personal favourite after he sampled it in a backstreet restaurant in Rome whilst attending World Tripe Day celebrations in the city in 2017, but he denied that he had ever knowingly received clandestine payments from FIPP. "The idea that the Tripe Marketing Board is somehow in the pocket of 'Big Tomato' is just ridiculous," he said, adding that he would be cancelling his subscription to Offal Monthly with immediate effect and that he would be recommending that tripe lovers across the UK do the same.