25 November 2018

Personal shoppers are 'another first'

The Tripe Marketing Board will be introducing Personal Tripe Shoppers in an attempt to help busy consumers choose the right tripe for Christmas. 

TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle announced the new service at the gala Christmas dinner of the Croston Crafters' Circle, where he was guest of honour.

"Let's face it - there aren't many people who haven't bought a hasty gift for their partner or significant other only to find when they get it home that they've bought the wrong size flowers or the wrong colour perfume. Locating the perfect gift for loved ones can be fraught," Sir Norman said.

Tempting gifts
He pointed out that the TMB already offered tripe lovers a wide range of tempting gifts and merchandise, many of which were perfect as Christmas presents or 'Secret Santas', adding "There's now no excuse for dashing to the nearest Heron garage on Christmas Eve and having to make do with the limited choice available."

The new Personal Tripe Shopper service will be launched on 1 December in selected butchers throughout the North West.

Specially trained ex-slaughterhouse assistants will shop for the best cuts of tripe for you, to take all the worry out of your Christmas tripe requirements.  Simply make an appointment and then relax, secure in the knowledge that, whether it’s honeycomb, reticulum, blanket, book or reed tripe that you are after, it will be dressed in advance to add joy to your table on the big day.

"This is yet another first from the Tripe Marketing Board," Sir Norman said.

20 November 2018

TMB Website Hacked

Visitors to the Tripe Marketing Board website are advised that it has been hacked.

At around 8.23am today, the @TripeUK Twitter account was notified by an alert board member that a page on its website had been modified to read 'Meat Is Murder' and that a link to www.vegansociety.com had been inserted, along with a smiling cartoon carrot.

Website Hack
TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said: "We're not sure how long this has been there as we don't get too many visitors to our site and this is the first report we have received, but we are working to resolve the issue."

At this stage, only the page relating to 'Jobs at the TMB' is known to be affected by the hack. The page does not appear in the main site index and was updated last week to include details of a new position of Political Lobbyist, at which time no problems were reported.

Sir Norman said that the TMB's web designer was currently on annual leave, so it may be some time before the page can be re-modified, adding "We don't know if it affects any other pages in the 'back end' of the site as we don't really know how many there are, so if anyone spots anything suspicious please let us know."

12 November 2018

"We'll take criticism on the chin" says TMB chairman

The Tripe Marketing Board has undertaken never to fine people who leave bad reviews on Amazon about its books.

Chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said he thought it would be counter-productive to issue fines to people who left negative reviews of books published by TMB Books, the publishing arm of the TMB.

Speaking from his Lytham home yesterday, he said: "We know that tripe is a very divisive foodstuff.  People either loathe it or hate it so we're well used to the critics.  And the same holds true for our books."

He gave the example of a review posted by Mr SG Holt of Radcliffe of the TMB's first book, Forgotten Lancashire and Parts of Cheshire and the Wirral.  Mr Radcliffe said:

 'No, not for me. Got it from Amazon today. did'nt (sic) take long to go through it, I'm a Lancastrian & I just could'nt (sic) get into this at all. 106 pages of tripe'.  

He only gave it one star - unlike the 29 people who gave it five stars, including Mr A Kershaw of Hebden Bridge who said:

'Although I was raised in Lancashire, so much of the county's history was unknown to me - until the appearance of this valuable book ... drawn from the archives of the Blunt family. That collection was discovered only recently, in an attic in a number of Asda carrier bags. What a find it has turned out to be'.

Other books published by the TMB have also been well received, including Forgotten Yorkshire and Parts of North Derbyshire and Humberside, The Lost Films of 20th Century Spatchcock and A Brief History of Tripe.  All are available to purchase via TMB Books and make ideal gifts for anyone with even half a funny bone.

Sir Norman said that the TMB had to take negative comments 'on the chin'.  "We'd much rather pay people to leave good reviews.  That way, everyone's happy," he said.

11 November 2018

Tripe sales to rise in 2019 says TMB

The Tripe Marketing Board has sharply upgraded its forecast for UK tripe sales, predicting that tripe  output will expand as fast this year as it did last year and that sales will be much more buoyant than it predicted before the EU referendum in 2016.

Strategy Document
Speaking at the launch of a new strategy document Tripe for You, Not Tripe for EU, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said the tripe industry was at a turning point and that 2019 could see the first increase in tripe sales since 1954.

"It's too early to tell, but the indicators are all there," Sir Norman said, adding that retailers had reported the smallest ever decline in quarterly sales in the autumn.  "This means that fewer people than ever before are turning away from tripe and it could well mean that sales will actually increase at some point next year," he said.

The strategy document predicts that, as exports to EU countries decline after Brexit, the home market will become increasingly important. "People will literally have never seen so much tripe as they will after March 2019," Sir Norman said.

10 November 2018

Tripe Christmas TV ad banned by regulator

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has reacted angrily to news that the TMB has been refused permission to air its 2019 Christmas TV ad by OffOffal, the tripe industry regulator. 

David Lloyd
The advert, which features former Lancashire and England cricketer David Lloyd and takes the theme of 'Choose Tripe this Christmas', was to have aired primarily in the North West, North East and Yorkshire over the next six weeks.

Lloyd, who had an extensive playing career, with 407 first-class matches and 288 one day games, is a well-known lover of tripe and has regularly discussed his passion for the product during quiet times in his commentaries for matches on Sky TV.

Sir Norman said: "This is more than disappointing. We had high hopes for this advert, which took a modern and upbeat approach to tripe and was deliberately designed to appeal to the under 65 audience."

He said the TMB was considering releasing the advert in selected cinemas as an alternative. "It would be a real shame if this never made the light of day," he added.

The ban echoes similar events in 2015, when a controversial advert for A Brief History of Tripe was withdrawn after complaints by Doreen Partington that a photograph of her reading the book was used without permission.

6 November 2018

TV crossover show idea "premature"

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has dismissed suggestions that the TMB is in talks with an independent TV production company about a potential crossover show as "ridiculously premature".

Sir Norman Wrassle
Speaking in response to questions following his speech to the Garstang Women's League this afternoon, he said that plans for Strictly Tripe Off - in which contestants who are voted off Strictly Come Dancing will move on to a sister show where they will be randomly allocated a tripe recipe to cook and eat on live TV - were only in the preliminary stages.

Nevertheless, Sir Norman said he was excited by the project and he hoped participants would want to convey their emotions about their tripe experience through the medium of contemporary dance. "This could rejuvenate what is frankly a somewhat tired format by giving that little extra edge to the celebrity performances," he said. 

He refused to be drawn on whether he or his wife, Lady Cheryl would consider appearing in the twin shows, "but I have had my Oxfords re-soled and heeled," he said.

4 November 2018

TMB chairman apologises to Bulgarians

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has apologised for any offence caused to the the Bulgarian nation when his comments about the country's tripe soup were made public after a TMB employee reached a settlement with the board before an Employment Tribunal.

Sir Norman Wrassle
Sir Norman's comments were contained in a recording of a private conversation.  Speaking after the settlement had been reached, Sir Norman said: "I'm naturally disappointed that this recording has surfaced and I would not like it to be interpreted in any way that Bulgarian tripe soup is not perfectly edible.  I understand that many Bulgarians swear by eating the soup as a hangover cure.  It is not personally to my taste and I would hope this episode does not sour the very cordial relations we have with the Bulgarian people."

Tripe Marketing Board apologises to ex-employee

The Tripe Marketing Board has issued an unreserved apology to a former employee who was a member of the TMB's social media team.

The apology is part of a settlement reached with the employee prior to her case reaching an Employment Tribunal and includes substantial damages.

In a statement agreed with solicitors Young, Gifford and Black, TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle said:

"It was wrong of me to expect a junior employee of the TMB to eat a dish of Shkembe chorba as part of the recent World Tripe Day celebrations in Sofia. I am happy to confirm that we have reviewed our terms of employment and made it absolutely clear that no employees, interns or volunteers working for the TMB will be expected to eat food they find repulsive.  I am pleased to confirm that this also applies to board members.  I am personally sorry for any  offence caused to this employee".

As part of the settlement, it was agreed that the evidence relating to the event - which consists of a recording made of a conversation between Sir Norman and another member of the TMB delegation - was to be made public and the TMB is happy to comply with this requirement.

2 November 2018

TMB chairman in surprise 'step down' offer

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle has said he is prepared to step down from the UK's most senior tripe promotional role to allow ex-Prime Minister David Cameron to take over the reins.

The suggestion came after revelations in the media that Mr Cameron - who controversially stood down as leader of the Conservative Party after losing the EU referendum, which he had called in a desperate attempt to paper over deep divisions in his party - was considering a return to UK politics.

In a Tweet issued this morning, Sir Norman said:

Mr Cameron, who has had wide experience in the distribution of tripe and whose activities as a student did wonders for sales of pigs heads, could take over the role as early as January, if TMB board members were to approve the appointment.

1 November 2018

TMB to investigate Malmo museum

Tripe Marketing Board chairman Sir Norman Wrassle last night announced that the TMB would be investigating reports that tripe was being featured in a so-called 'Museum of Disgusting Food' that has opened in Malmo, Sweden.

Mouse wine (pic The Guardian)
The museum has collected together dishes such as Mouse wine (a drink infused with dead baby mice from China),  Casu marzu (a Sardinian speciality cheese crawling with live maggots) and civet coffee, (a coffee that includes coffee cherries eaten, part-digested and defecated by the Asian palm civet).

Tripe features in the museum as an ingredient of the classic south and central American dish, Menudo.

Speaking at a meeting of the West Lancashire Soroptimists, Sir Norman said he was not there to defend menudo, but he wanted people to understand that tripe didn't have to be disgusting.  "There are literally dozens of ways to cook and prepare tripe to make it relatively tolerable, so to include tripe in this museum at all is a little unfair to our fine product," he said.  He pledged that he would personally visit the museum at the earliest practicable opportunity to see exactly how and why tripe was being featured, adding "Putting tripe alongside dead baby mouse soup seems more than a little unfair to me."

In response to questions from the audience, Sir Norman refused to be drawn on reports which had surfaced in the West Lancashire Argus that a TMB staff member had launched an Employment Tribunal appeal after she had been required to eat a bowl of Bulgarian tripe soup on a recent visit to Sofia during celebrations for World Tripe Day. "We do not comment on internal staffing matters, but I want to make it clear that there was no force-feeding involved and nor was this a part of some bizarre TMB initiation ceremony, as has been suggested," Sir Norman said.